It feels like it has been too long since Syfy has uncorked some new man-eating monster movies for us to sink our teeth into. That’ll change come June when the network unleashes a pair of toothy monstrosities: Ice Road Terror and Swamp Shark. Syfy has posted a trio of bloody scenes from each monster mash.
The carnage begins on June 11th at 9/8 Central when Ice Road Terror reaches its destination on your television dial. Dylan Neal (“Dawson’s Creek”, “Blood Ties”) and Brea Grant (Halloween II, “Heroes”) star in this creature feature about Alaskan ice road truckers and a research analyst tangling with an unearthed prehistoric monster. The director (Terry Ingram) and writer (Keith Shaw) of Syfy’s Phantom Racer reteam for this creature feature inspired by the popular reality series “Ice Road Truckers”. Curiously, though, one thing you will not actually see in these clips is any actual ice road trucking.
The first clip wastes no time giving us a look at the komodo dragon dinosaur creature that emerges from beneath the earth to reduce people to gory slabs of meat. Was it my imagination, or towards the end of the clip did I actually see recycled shots of people running for their life just shown all of ten seconds prior?
The second clip appears to be a continuation of the first clip with the thawed out terror from beneath the earth continuing to bust people up like watermelons at a Gallagher show.
The third and final clip from Ice Road Terror now finds it terrorizing people at a snowy shack. For one fleeting moment it looked like we might actually see some ice road truckin’. Alas, that was not the case. But an old man gets gutted by a big lizard, and who can complain about that?
June 25th at 9/8 Central is the Syfy premiere of Swamp Shark about a very unusual shark – not just because most of the effects appear practical as opposed to computer generated – that gets loose in the Louisiana bayou and threatens to put the bite on the annual Gator Fest. The nature gone amok flick stars original Buffy the Vampire Slayer Kristy Swanson, who, rather ironically, starred in a 2003 made-for-TBS swamp shark flick back titled Red Water. Her co-star in that shark flick was Lou Diamond Philips. This time her co-star is D.B. Sweeney (The Cutting Edge, Dinosaur). Lake Placid 3 director Griff Furst does the shark wrangling from a script by Charles Bolon, Jennifer Iwen, and Eric Miller. Before anyone makes a joke about it taking three people to write a movie called Swamp Shark, keep in mind it once took 30 people to write a Flintstones movie that didn’t have a single funny joke.
The first clip pretty much sets the stage for what one should expect from a movie titled Swamp Shark: people in a swamp getting eaten by a shark.
The second clip features the deformed swamp shark chowing down on yet another person. As I watched this clip, I couldn’t help but think that maybe if those two young ladies had helped the guy pull the line rather than just stand next to him screaming and yelling, then maybe they could have gotten their friend on the boat faster rather than watching him get chummed.
The third clip does nothing for people’s impressions of Southerners as the swamp shark lets the world know how it truly feels about interracial dating. Oh, swamp shark, I thought you were better than that.
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