Charles Band sent out an email alerting the world that Full Moon Entertainment is gearing up with three new monster movies featuring damsels in distress: a sequel, a zombie flick, and in what will come as a shock to no one, a new film revolving around a quartet of pint-sized fiends.
In what I can only consider to be a sequel I never thought would ever come into existence, Full Moon will soon begin work on Killer Eye 2: Halloween Haunt. Really? Of all the movies in their library to make a sequel to they chose an obscure, incoherent, David DeCoteau-directed, T&A sci-fi horror movie from 1999?
“Our killer horny eyeball is back as a replica size hypnotic monster that terrorizes 5 hot chicks as they set up a Halloween haunt in an old mansion!”
I don’t know about this one. It just won’t be the same without Jacqueline Lovell performing live-action hentai with an alien eyeball’s tentacles.
Full Moon found some success back in 2000 with their zombie comedy The Dead Hate the Living! Full Moon are raising the dead once again but the dead seem to have softened their stance on humanity by developing a soft spot for the ladies. The Dead Want Women! is the title, the plot synopsis, and the film’s tagline all rolled into one.
For those that like their Full Moon monster movies more Puppet Master-y, Unlucky Charms might sound magically delicious to you. Four super deformed mythical monsters are called upon to exact revenge on a group of beauty contestants shooting a reality TV show! Want to meet these Unlucky Charms?
Farr Darrig: A strange dwarf with a bright red beard. His clothes and hat suggest those of a leprechaun, but not green….instead bright red.
Banshee: An old female hag with straw-like hair and milky-white eyes, dressed in rags, her mouth seeming much larger than it should.
Pookah: A hideous hobgoblin with long sharp claws and wicked needle teeth.
Bloody Bones: A one-eyed cyclops with a necklace of bones not quite stripped of bloody flesh.
Now if only Charles Band would bring back Mandroid or Seedpeople. Better yet, Mandroid vs. Seedpeople – in 3D!
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