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Embrace the Suck of Beastly on DVD and Blu-ray This June

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An arrogant teenager is bewitched by an Olson Twin to spend the rest of his life looking like a chemo patient at a henna tattoo convention unless he can get sexting enthusiast Vanessa Hudgens to fall for in love with his inner beauty. Beastly is Beauty & the Beast for the Twilight set, and soon you’ll be able to bring home the movie you didn’t see in theaters.

Seventeen-year-old Kyle (Alex Pettyfer) is the spoiled, shallow and incredibly popular prince of his high school kingdom. Kyle foolishly chooses Kendra (Mary-Kate Olsen), a witch masquerading as a high school student, as his latest target for humiliation. In order to teach Kyle a lesson, Kendra transforms him into someone as unattractive on the outside as he is on the inside. Now he has one year to find someone to love him, or he will remain Beastly forever. A quiet classmate he never noticed named Lindy (Vanessa Hudgens) may be his best chance to prove that love is never ugly.

Nah, I prefer my plot synopsis instead. Notice neither make mention of the best part of the movie: Neil Patrick Harris as a blind live-in tutor who never actually tutors the main character and every now and then almost appears to forgets his character is supposed to be blind.

Beastly (review here) was based on a popular tweener book in much the way that Blood & Chocolate was based on a popular tweener book, which is to say so much of what made the book popular appeared to get amputated in translation to the screen.

Sony will be releasing the movie that dares to repeat the phrase “embrace the suck” as if it is reviewing itself to DVD and Blu-ray on June 28th. No word yet on any DVD extras. Isn’t love the only extra you’ll ever need?

Embrace the Suck of Beastly on DVD This June

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Foywonder

  • HorrorMaven

    Your first paragraph synopsis FTW. The only reason I clicked on this story was to say that. LOL funny. Great work.