Here’s your bloody digital offerings for Tuesday, June 26th, 2007…
It’s about damn time! If you missed the film on its ridiculously under-publicized theatrical run, now you can see what we’ve been trying to tell people about since we were able to catch this one at last year’s Fantasia. Behind the Mask is the story of Leslie Vernon, growing up in a world in which Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees are actual people, people he wants to be just like. The film is about a documentary crew who follow Leslie around as he prepares his first big night of horror. Brilliant stuff! Check out my DVD review of Behind the Mask for more! Buy it here!
Brutal River (2006)
Directed by Anat Yuang Ngem
Another Thai horror film, but at least this one is about a massive crocodile eating its way through the population of a small, peaceful village. Actually, according to the description it’s an “alligator-like” animal. What the hell does that mean? Something even more vicious? It’s all a moot point, though, since listening to the Thai language is almost as painful as being eaten by an alligator anyway. Buy it here!
The first of two sets of “cult” movies released by Warner Bros. this week, this one features the classics Attack of the 50-Foot Woman, Giant Behemoth, and Queen of Outer Space. Isn’t it a bit repetitive to call something a giant behemoth? Doesn’t behemoth, the word, mean giant to begin with? Ah, that was the 50’s though; everything was weird back then. All three movies are being released solo as well in case you really only want Queen of Outer Space, which we all know you do. Buy it here!
The second of the two sets (whoa, slow down), this time with movies all about women getting themselves into all sorts of scrapes that men probably have to come get them out of (waits patiently for hate mail…). Featured within are Caged, Trog, and The Big Cube, each of them a new story about a girl with bigger problems than you! So there! Similar to the first, all three movies are being released on their own as well. C’mon, you know you want yourself some Trog. Buy it here!
This is one of those movies that I thought was judged unfairly by most, simply because Wan was known for making Saw before this came about, and you really couldn’t ask for a more different movie from Saw than Dead Silence. The story is about a guy whose wife dies horribly shortly after a ventriloquist doll shows up at his house, forcing him to go back to their hometown and confront some very freaky sins of their fathers. Check out my Dead Silence DVD review for more! Buy it here!
Answering the question of how many movies that you’ve never heard of can one company fit onto three discs, St. Clair Vision Entertainment presents the Drive-In Classics collection with such diverse films as Drive-In Massacre, Scream Bloody Murder, Track of the Moon Beast, The Beast of Yucca Flats, Legend of Bigfoot, Rattlers and Jesse James Meets Frankenstein’s Daughter. Wait a second! I’ve heard of most of those! Does that make me weird? Buy it here!
Oh, man, you really just can’t go wrong with Anthony Wong as a sleazy, despicable bastard who does all the wrong things to all the wrong people. When he rapes a diseased a villager while working in South Africa, he comes home with the titular disease and spreads it far and wide! Finally a decent release of this film is getting out there thanks to newcomers Discotek Media with commentary by Wong and director Yau, deleted scenes, a brand-new transfer and a lot more! If you have a weak stomach, avoid it. If you think you’ve seen it all, get it now! Buy it here!
From the man who brought you the original Godzilla comes a tale of madness and hugeness! During the second World War, a heart was stolen from a lab in Europe and has been kept in storage at a Japanese lab ever since. When it’s exposed to radiation, it re-grows its form, Frankenstein’s monster, and becomes huge! Somehow at the same time a giant reptile, Baragon, is on the loose fucking shit up as well, and pretty soon the two are battling it out! Check out Creepy’s DVD review here. Buy it here!
Fuck. That’s a pretty cool cover. I have to admit if I saw that in the stores, I might have to pick it up and give it a closer look. What are the chances, since it’s a Lionsgate release, that anything even remotely that creepy takes place during the film? Slim. The story is about a group of friends who head out into a forest to find the mysterious evil spirit known as Satinka. Of course they find her, each disappearing one by one as they discover just how real this death spirit is. Sucks to be them! Buy it here!
Though it’s not as fun as Black Sheep, another horror movie involving farm animals going bad, Isolation is still a fun, old school monster movie. On a remote farm in Ireland a farmer is taking some much-needed hush money so the government can experiment with some of his cattle. Unfortunately things go very bad when one of them gives birth to a tooth-filled monstrosity that turns the table on the food chain. Check our Isolation review from last year’s Fantasia for more! Buy it here!
A man, unable to adapt to changes at the company he’s worked at for over a decade, is forced to relocate his family to a rural house in Wisconsin. Oh, God, why Wisconsin of all places? Ugh. Anyway, the house is what they call a “unique fixer-upper” and has all sorts of personality, personality that slowly changes the family’s life from one of annoying discomfort to one of hell on earth. Never a good progression of events, is it? Buy it here!
Joel, Mike and the bots are back again for another collection of awesomely bad movies with awesomely funny commentaries by the group. Damn, I miss this show. I hope it’s playing out there somewhere on a loop or something. Anyway, this set features the group riffing on Ring of Terror, The Phantom Creeps, The Indestructible Man, and Horror of Spider Island, probably one of the coolest movie titles ever. Period. The eps are from various seasons (would a full season set be asking so much?) so expect to be lost during the wraparound stuff. Buy it here!
Shaolin Vs. Evil Dead: Ultimate Power (2006)
Directed by Douglas Kung
Martial arts and horror mix in this sequel to Shaolin Vs. Evil Dead; Gordon Liu returns as the Master Killer, out this time to stop fellow priest Hak who has been turned into a vampire and has the rather insidious plan of coating the Earth in eternal darkness. Yeah, that would get rid of that whole “explode in daylight” thing, wouldn’t it? Of course with a name like Master Killer you can’t really let such things go, so a battle to end all battles is waged! Buy it here!
All right, this sounds like a very weird one to me; under the streets of New York there is a race of people lead by Old Man, leader of Scum City. His followers believe they will be transported to a paradise as soon as he is given five noble souls. A crazed hunchback who knows he’s dying decides to collect the souls, beheading New Yorkers he deems worthy, while a nine-year-old boy gets entangled with deadly gangsters, only using his water pistol filled with acid to fight his way through them. Buy it here!
Another collection of short films from around the world. There really needs to be a DVD company that specializes only in releasing short films; I bet it would do pretty well for itself. Included in this set are My Skin, Slumber, Callous Sentiment, Trick or Treat, Hooligans Valley, Scream for Me, What Ever Happened to the Zombie Killers. I’ve seen My Skin and Scream for Me, and both are pretty good. No idea about the rest, but I’m sure you’ll find something that’ll get your hackles raised in here. Buy it here!
Now here’s a fucked up situation to be stuck in: You’re on an island full of kids, none of which seem to like you too much. Soon you learn that there are no adults because the kids have killed them all, possessed of some murdering spirit that they can pass from one to another with ease. But you can’t stop their madness because, as the title asks, who can kill a child? Dark Sky has given this one a clean-up and some new featurettes. A classic that’s been waiting for a good release for years; don’t miss it! Buy it here!
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