Boll Stays Alone in the Dark

Boll keeps himself alone in the darkBox office flop… Critical punching bag… Since when have those two things ever prevented a movie from getting a sequel? And when Uwe Boll is involved, anything is possible. The man is magic.

We’ve been hearing rumblings that Dr. Boll was planning a direct-to-DVD sequel to Alone in the Dark, his utterly nonsensical follow-up to House of the Dead, loosely based on the Atari video game of the same name. If you’ve never actually experienced the narrative holocaust that is Alone in the Dark for yourself, then I’d suggest you just read my review and feel my angst. I don’t think even Stephen Hawking could’ve made hide or hair of that film’s gibberish plot.

Bloody Disgusting has gotten word that the sequel, which this time will be about a group of “witch hunters” tracking down a witch named Elisabeth Dexter, is set to begin shooting August 6th in Los Angeles and New York. It should come as no shock that neither Christian Slater, Tara Reid, nor Stephen Dorff will be returning. Alone in the Dark 2 will reportedly star the trio of The Fast & the Furious‘ Rick Yune, Best of the Best 2 villain and current Boll movie regular of late Ralf Moeller, and Lance “Has the check cleared yet?” Henriksen. I’m guessing none of them will be playing the Elisabeth Dexter part.

According to the IMDB Boll will only produce the sequel, leaving writing and directing duties to Michael Roesch and Peter Scheerer, whose vampire-hunting flick Brotherhood of Blood is due in the near future.

In other Boll-tastic news, the all-purpose Uwe Boll news site (yes, such a website exists!) Bollbashers received word from the good doctor himself that the MPAA has denied his other unlikely sequel, BloodRayne 2: Deliverance, an R rating. The film’s more explicit scenes will have to be cut down to achieve an R. Given how “unrated” DVD editions of theatrically released films are all the rage, I’m not quite sure why it’s suddenly a problem to have an unrated DVD released as is.

The Foywonder

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Jon Condit