DVD Release List: Abandon All Hope

Here’s what’s on your “to buy” list for Tuesday, June 19th, 2007…

Click to see it full size!The Abandoned (2006)
Directed by Nacho Cerda

Definitely one of the highlights of last November’s After Dark Horrorfest was being able to finally see Nacho Cerda’s The Abandoned not just on the big screen, but on the big screen at the local multiplex! A beautiful, horrible tale about a woman how goes back to her ancestral home and soon realizes she and her long-lost twin brother are being haunted by themselves, having managed to escape death when they were not supposed to. Be sure to read our DVD review of The Abandoned for more! Buy it here!

Click to see it full size!Bachelor Party Massacre (2006)
Directed by Schumacker Halpern Overdrive

Wait, is that a real name? The director’s, I mean? Cause if so … wow. All right, anyway I bet you can never figure out what this one is about so to save you the trouble, I’ll just tell you: A group of friends decide to throw a bachelor party for a friend in a cabin in the mountains. Make sense so far. Little do they know that an escaped killer is on the loose. Oh! Party foul! Heads are lost, if the cover is any indication, and I seriously doubt anyone makes it to the eventual wedding. Buy it here!

Click to see it full size!Deadtime Stories (1986)
Directed by Jeffrey S. Delman

Three tales of terror put together in a format that was supposed to salute the age-old tradition of bedtime stories that would eventually give you nightmares; you know, before all the stuff for kids sucked like it does now? The tales involve some crazed witches in medieval Europe, a jogger stalked by a werewolf, and some mental patients on leave sharing a country house with a woman who might just be crazier than they are. Buy it here!

Click to see it full size!The Exorcist Chronicles (2007)
Directed by Will Raee

Back in 1983 a psychiatrist named Eric Forester was granted permission by the church to find and document proof of demonic possession. He was assigned some very specialized priests to get the job done as well. Now, for the first time, this footage is available to the public through this new film called The Exorcist Chronicles. I would hope the Catholic church would have been able to come up with a more witty title than that, but then I guess they are all kind of dull, aren’t they? Buy it here!

Click to see it full size!Fire Serpent (2007)
Directed by John Terlesky

Though it might sound like a cool idea, a body-jumping entity made of fire from another time and place wreaking havoc on our planet, apparently the film is anything but. I can imagine some very bad fire CG effects, always one of the hardest things to duplicate on a computer, run rampant through this, originally a Sci-Fi Channel original, of course. If you’re a “Buffy” fan, you might want to check it out because it has Nicholas Brendan, but something tells me he’s not reason enough to seek this out, that something being The Foywonder’s review of Fire Serpent of course. Buy it here!

Click to see it full size!In a Dark Place (2006)
Directed by Donato Rotunno

A young girl, stressed over her new job at an inner city special school, thinks that the task of watching over two privileged kids for the summer at their huge, sprawling estate is the perfect getaway. But soon she learns of some of the horrible things said kids have done, the girls who used to have her job’s mysterious disappearances, and the ghosts of ex-employees lurking the halls. Something very wrong is happening, that’s for sure. But Leelee Sobieski and her wonderful breasts are on the case! Buy it here!

Click to see it full size!The Nightcomers (1971)
Directed by Michael Winner

Not only does the title make very little sense, if any, it just sounds plain dirty. Or is that just me? Anyway, a young Marlon Brando stars in this prequel to Henry James’ Turn of the Screw, telling of the events that lead up to the deaths of Peter and Mrs. Jessel. It also lays out the slow corruption of the children who were in their care. Many bad things are learned from new gardener Quint (Brando) by the kids, which leads to all sorts of mayhem down the road. Buy it here!

Click to see it full size!Old Hag (2007)
Directed by Channing Lowe

When a night crew’s steady routine is interrupted and perhaps forever changed by the arrival of a crate containing the body of a serial killer, the crew try to explain away the strange things that start to happen as an old phenomenon called Old Hag. What does it mean? Where does it come from? Is there really a ghost in their presence? I guess you’ll have to follow the night crew to be able to find out for yourself! Buy it here!

Click to see it full size!Prison of the Psychotic Damned (2007)
Directed by D.W. Kann

Too bad they’re cursed with such a shitty cover; that title’s not too bad in an old-school grindhouse sort of way. The story is about five psychics who make a plan to spend the night at an abandoned insane asylum to see if there are really any ghosts in waiting. Indeed there are, and they’re very pissed off about being interrupted from their ghostly goings-on, so they start killing the psychics who really should’ve seen it coming. Buy it here!

Click to see it full size!The Tomb (2006)
Directed by Uli Lommel

Oh, man, as if it weren’t bad enough that he’s done… everything else he’s done recently, now Uli Lommel has to cannibalize HP Lovecraft? Wrong, wrong, wrong. The story is about a creature known as The Puppetmaster who captures victims and tortures them in a tomb. Hence the title. Sound like Saw so far? Yeah, here, too. The victims awaken imprisoned and in various states of near death. Those who survive are, of course, tortured psychologically as well. Though I’ll be willing to bet not a single bit of it makes any sense. When is this guy going to stop making movies!?! Buy it here!

Johnny Butane

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Jon Condit