Mock Syfy’s original movies all you want, they still do solid ratings. They’re also free to watch. How about paying to watch Syfy monster movies about fairy tale trolls, giant worms, and ancient fiends? Would you feel an April’s fool to purchase a quartet of Syfy monsters heading to DVD?
April 5th brings two such creature features that start with the letter B. Behemoth (review here) just premiered on Syfy last month and is fastracking its way to DVD shelves. “Eureka” co-star Ed Quinn contends with a giant monster erupting from a mountain to potentially bring about the end of the world, or so says “X-Files” Cigarette Smoking Man, William B. Davis.
An earthquake reactivates a long-dormant volcano threatening the small town of Ascension, trembling in its shadow. But the gaping maws in the region reveal evidence of something else a centuries-old subterranean creature at last given the chance to break free in a black cloud of fire and ash. As the Behemoth wreaks havoc, it’s a race against time as a small band of rescuers fight it with a force as destructive as the beast itself.
Vivendi Entertainment is releasing Behemoth as part of the “Maneater” DVD series of Syfy creature movies despite the fact the monster only really eats one person in the movie.
The same day E1 Entertainment will release Beauty & the Beast: A Dark Tale (review here) starring Estella Warren’s corseted bosoms. The Planet of the Apes remake co-star plays the beauty opposite a beast in this R-rated retelling of the classic love story that skimps heavily on the love story in favor of gory deaths, evil witches, and a monster troll terrorizing a small medieval village.
After several villagers are murdered, rumors spread about a vicious Beast lurking in the woods. But after the Beast saves her life, Belle vows to help him stop the real villain – a malevolent troll controlled by a power-hungry witch.
If plants are more your thing, then April 12th’s Lionsgate release of Mandrake (review here) may be more your thing. Saw wifey Betsy Russell, Max Martini of “The Unit”, and Benito Martinez of “The Shield” find themselves in the jungle tangling with restless natives and the carnivorous plants they worship.
An expedition led by adventurer Darren McCall and funded by the wealthy Harry Vargas braves the impenetrable jungle to retrieve a fabled bejeweled dagger from an ancient burial ground. But pulling the dagger from its rightful resting place awakens the beast. Part plant and part animal, the massive mandrake awakens thirsty for human blood.
Mandrake is probably the most you’ll ever see women get menaced by monstrous vine-like tentacles in a movie without it turning into all-out hentai.
Lionsgate rounds out the month with the April 26th release of Mongolian Death Worm (review here) from I Spit on Your Grave remake director Steven R. Monroe. Sean Patrick Flanery (Boondock Saints) stars as a hardluck treasure hunter in Mongolia paired with physician Victoria Pratt (“Mutant X”) searching for the lost fortune of Ghengis Khan. Unfortunately for him and every other character in the film, that treasure is guarded by monstrous Mongolian death worms.
When an American oil company sets up an experimental drilling plant out in the vast deserts of Mongolia, they are completely oblivious to what actually lies beneath them. Pumping hot water deep into the ground, the company is hoping to expose untapped oil, but what they end up uncovering is something no one ever expected. As the superheated water plummets its way into the earth, it strikes a nest of deadly creatures that have been dormant for centuries. Thought to be purely mythological, these monsters are in fact real…and now they have been awakened! They are angry and they are bloodthirsty. They are known as the Mongolian Death Worms.
Those familiar with the Mongolian death worms of cryptozoological fame will probably be greatly disappointed these giant worms have less in common with their cryptid namesake and more with the Graboids of Tremors.
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