Ten Things Stephen King Knows About the Upcoming Theatrical Version of The Stand

Since the announcement of Warner Bros. and CBS Films’ intention of adapting Stephen King’s epic novel The Stand for the big screen, fans have found themselves in a bit of a tizzy. There are so many questions and nowhere to look for answers. Except …

Over on Entertainment Weekly’s Inside Movies the man himself listed the ten things he knows about the upcoming adaptation. Dig on the list below.

Ten Things Stephen King Knows About the Upcoming Theatrical Version of The Stand

1. No one will be able to top Gary Sinise, who played Stu Redman in the original ABC miniseries. He was perfect. When he says “You don’t know nothing” to the soldiers who are putting him under mandatory quarantine, you believe his contempt completely. My runner-up pick would be Jake Gyllenhaal.

2. I didn’t know anything about the remake until I read about it on the Internet.

3. You absolutely can’t make it as a two-hour movie. If it was a trilogy of films … maybe.

4. Molly Ringwald won’t be playing Fran Goldsmith this time.

5. Rutger Hauer is a little too old to play the Walkin’ Dude, and that’s too bad.

6. People who’ve seen Kubrick’s The Shining dislike the miniseries I wrote (and my amigo Mick Garris directed) even if they haven’t seen it. That’s always annoyed me. But the wheel of karma turns! This time people will probably say, “The miniseries was lots better.” BUT…

7. …historically speaking, movie studios blow the budget on things like this, so maybe it’ll be fun to look at. The dough certainly isn’t going to me, although if it is a trilogy, and if it makes a lot of money, I might be able to buy a chicken dinner at Popeye’s. Great slaw!

8. Molly Ringwald will probably not play the Trashcan Man, either, but Billy Bob Thornton would be cool. Billy Bob’s always cool.

9. They need to write in a lot of heavy-metal for the soundtrack.

10. M-O-O-N, that spells “you probably won’t see this anytime soon.” And when you do, Woody Allen won’t be directing it. Or Molly Ringwald.

Look for more on The Stand soon.

Uncle Creepy

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Steve Barton

You're such an inspiration for the ways that I will never, ever choose to be.

  • Rottenjesus

    I think he’s just riffing on how most Hollywood horror films these days have HEAVY POUNDING METAL on the soundtrack.

    Hey, you’d be different too after nearly dying.

  • Shambling_in_Bandages

    “They need to write in a lot of heavy-metal for the soundtrack.”

    I guess he never fully recovered from that traffic accident.