Eggcellent Easter-Themed Haunts!
Luis Gomez
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If photos of shopping mall Easter bunnies have taught us anything, it’s that anthropomorphic rabbits with soulless eyes and massive chompers can be creepy as fuck. And those Easter bunnies are unintentionally terrifying. Just imagine if they purposely tried to give you nightmares.
That’s what a handful of Easter-themed haunted houses are hoping to accomplish this spring. The bunnies in these haunts – open for one or two days only — are more Frank the Rabbit than Thumper.
Brighton Asylum
Location: Passaic, N.J.
Hours: 8-10 p.m. April 8
Admission: $27 for general admission, $44.99 for fast pass; brightonasylum.com
Preview: In the Rottentail Slaughterhouse, it’s the animals who have taken over the asylum. “We really overwhelm our guests with the use of ‘creature’ elements,” said Brighton Asylum owner Richard Gonci, by email, “from huge, towering, twisted bunnies ready to pounce on you at any moment, to small, scary creatures that seem to come from nowhere.” This Easter-themed haunt, now in its fifth year, has a full-contact option, for those who want to get up close and personal with the bunnies.
All Saints Lunatic Asylum
Location: Apple Valley, Calif.
Hours: 7-10 p.m. March 31 and April 1
Admission: $8; allsaintsasylum.com
Preview: The Rotten Easter Egg Haunt is like the Easter egg hunts you remember as a kid, only it’s set in an asylum. Oh, and the Easter Bunny and the asylum patients in this full-contact haunt will try to steal your eggs. OK, so they’re really not that similar, but there are prizes. “Once you make it to the gift shop, you can trade your eggs in for a little Easter gift,” said All Saints co-owner Christy Malan, by email. “Grand prize is the elusive golden egg. There is only one hidden in the haunt.”
Zombie Outbreak
Location: Aurora, Ill.
Hours: 7-10 p.m. April 14 and 6-10 p.m. April 15
Admission: $24.99 for general admission, $34.99 for VIP; zombieoutbreakchicago.com
Preview: No need to be very, very quiet when hunting rabbits at this 12,000-square foot laser tag haunt. They know you’re coming, so the key is to get to these zombified critters before they get to you. “In additional to the tons of zombies in the event, as usual, there will be several Zombie Easter Bunnies that you will have to hunt down,” said Zombie Outbreak owner Todd Baraniak, by email. “Each will be dropping glow-in-the-dark eggs that people can pick up and redeem for free prizes.”
The Massacre
Location: Montgomery, Ill.
Hours: 7-11 p.m. April 15
Admission: $25 for general admission, $35 for fast pass, $50 for VIP; fearthemassacre.com
Preview: Peter Rotten Tail and his army have launched a war on Easter. They’re tearing bunnies apart limb by limb and it’s up to you to collect enough body parts to reassemble a bunny at the end. The fate of Easter depends on it, so, you know, don’t screw it up. Like All Saints Lunatic Asylum, there is a golden egg hidden in this haunt. If found, you’ll earn a $50 Massacre gift card.
For more on haunts around the world, check out Luis Gomez’s horror-themed travel blog at Travelvania.net and follow him on Twitter @TravelvaniaBlog
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