DVD Release List: Meatballs & Messengers

Creeeping their way onto DVD come Tuesday, June 5th, 2007…

Click to see it bigger!Absence of Light (2004)
Directed by Patrick Desmond

It’s always the scientists who mean well that seem to cause the biggest problems. Do you think Einstein wanted to be the cause of nuclear weaponry? No. Neither did the scientist who finds a way to create life that will benefit humanity but then has to deal with two corporations who want to buy it, neither with the intentions of being very nice with it. That’s what happens when you deal with big business in America, I guess. Do you take the money and run, then deal with the consequences of the creation of superhuman soldiers who will help take over the world? I guess it really depends on how much they’re paying… Buy it here!

Click to see it bigger!Alien: Lenticular Edition (1979)
Directed by Ridley Scott

No, there’s nothing new on this edition of Alien than what was in the Alien Quadrilogy box set from a few years back nor its stand-alone release, but it does have a lenticular cover, and that can’t be a bad thing, can it? No sir. In all honesty it’s probably the best looking Alien cover to date, though whether or not that’s reason for you to buy it is your call alone. Alien Vs. Predator is out with a fancy new cover today, too, but that movie sucks and doesn’t deserve its own mention. So there. Buy it here!

Click to see it bigger!Big Bad Wolf (2007)
Directed by Lance Dreesen

Man, there’s nothing like hoping for the best, or at least the kinda good, and getting something … well, I won’t say bad, but unexpected. Big Bad Wolf was not the movie the director promised, at least not how I had interpreted those promises, but it’s still pretty fun. Richard Tyson (Three O’Clock High) stars as the titular lycanthrope, who has to deal with his effeminate stepson and his butch girl friend (not girlfriend) when he accidentally leaves them alive after they purposely break into the cabin he uses for his monthly hunting. Sucks to be both of them, really. Check out The Foywonder’s review of Big Bad Wolf for more! Buy it here!

Click to see it bigger!The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (2006)
Directed by David Lee Fisher

While some directors just want to create a shot-by-shot remake of whatever film they’re updating for a modern age, director Fisher at least took the original, twisted backgrounds from the 1919 Cabinet of Dr. Caligari to get his as close as he could to the iconic look. He also managed to get some serious talent in the form of Doug (Pan’s Labyrinth, Hellboy) Jones, who filled the shoes of somnambulist Cesare. I have to say while I don’t really get behind most remakes of film classics like this one, it sounds pretty intriguing! Buy it here!

Click to see it bigger!Chicago Massacre: Richard Speck (2007)
Directed by Michael Feifer

Ah, goodie, more true crime stories made into fictionalized movies about their subjects. Can never get enough of these now, can we? This time out the subject is Richard Speck, who kidnapped 9 student nurses, methodically raping and stabbing them to death. Not the kind of guy one would want to meet socially, is it? Even if he is played by Parker Lewis himself, Corin Nemec. Tony Todd, Andrew Divoff and Debbie Rochon also star in the flick, so there’s even more reason to check it out! Buy it here!

Click to see it bigger!Day of the Ax (2007)
Directed by Ryan Cavalline

Fist, back in 1984, at the age of 12, J. R. Song murdered his mother with an ax. Not a good start to juvenile delinquency, especially if you’re caught and imprisoned for eight years. He escaped in ’92 and went on another killing spree, only to disappear into legend shortly after, with the search being called off six months later due to lack of evidence. Now he’s back for another round of mayhem and massacre, and hopefully he’s got a bigger ax this time. Buy it here!

Click to see it bigger!Dead Zone: The Complete Fifth Season
Directed by Various

Wow, this show has been on for this long? Who would’ve thought, if you removed the bleak ending from both Stephen King’s book and David Cronenberg’s film, that Johnny Smith would go on to do so much? Craziness. Still, glad to see it’s succeeding so well after all these years, especially since the casting of Anthony Michael Hall was questionable at first. Not sure about all that happens this season, but murders are solved, people are helped and things are creepy. Buy it here!

Click to see it bigger!Edgar Allan Poe’s Darkness (2006)
Directed by Kevin De Lullo

Well, now this might be a bit new for those working in the theater: A group of actors putting on a performance of some of the man’s work become obsessed with him. Strange voices, moving objects and other odd occurrences plague the group. But one actor, Rex, is also having sex with the same girl as Lyman, which causes all sorts of issues for both guys. Though this time the stakes are a bit higher than the usual jealousy since Poe’s work is involved… Buy it here!

Click to see it bigger!Ghidorah: The Three-Headed Monster (1964)
Directed by Ishiro Honda

You know when Godzilla, Rodan and Mothra show up in Japan and decide to throw down once again that it’s going to be a bad day. But to make matters worse, a giant meteor crashes down in the mountains of Japan and unleash the fire-spitting space dragon King hGidorah. Now the monsters on Earth have to decide if they’re going to settle their differences or join together to fight this new foe. Buy it here!

Click to see it bigger!Hex: The Complete First Season
Directed by Various

What’s that? You’ve never heard of “Hex”? That’s because it’s a UK show that actually did pretty well and got a lot of comparisons to “Buffy”, perhaps unfairly. The show is about a young girl in boarding school who discovers an ancient artifact and gains otherworldly powers with a terrifying link to the past. At first she’s scared of it, but she has to admit that it does make her boring existence a lot more interesting. Every episode from Season One is in this box set so be sure to check it out! Buy it here!

Click to see it bigger!Invasion of Astro-Monsters (1965)
Directed by Ishiro Honda

The Godzilla rage continues with another badass G-release from Classic Media! This time it’s aliens from Planet X (I hate Planet X!) causing problems when they borrow our monsters for experiments. Their intentions are not as pure as you’d hope, however, as they then turn around and loose the monsters upon the Earth, demanding our surrender! Can an American astronaut and his Japanese friends stop the aliens and the monsters before it’s too late? You damn well know it! Buy it here!

Click to see it bigger!Meatball Machine (2005)
Directed by Junichi Ymamotot & Yudai Yamaguchi

No, it’s not another romantic comedy about beautiful people working in a meatball factory; it’s actually the latest from Battlefield Baseball director Yudai Yamaguchi! An alien intelligence invades Earth with a very unique ability; they can make human flesh into biomechanical weapons, which they use to pit mutated man against mutated man! But there’s also a slimy, grotesque love story in here as well, which is what all good body horror movies need, don’t you think? Buy it here!

Click to see it bigger!The Messengers (2007)
Directed by Danny & Oxide Pang

Not the most exciting U.S. debut for the Brothers Pang, but not a bad little ghost story either. The biggest problem with The Messengers, I think, is that there’s just really not a lot of new and interesting stuff going on. The story of a family looking to start anew at a sunflower farm is a good setting for a ghost story, and making it so the youngest is the only one who can see the ghosts does give the film some freaky moments, but overall it’s just sorta
“eh”. Check out Creepy’s DVD review of The Messengers for more, and be sure to give it a try if you’re not completely sick of long-haired ghosts yet. Buy it here!

Click to see it bigger!The Neptune Factor (1973)
Directed by Daniel Petrie

Maybe it’s because I’m a Pisces, but man I sure as hell do love me an underwater adventure movie. I’ve sadly never heard of this one before, but if the cover is any indication of what actually goes down (which it rarely is, I know), I’m all over it. The story is about an underwater Sealab that is stuck in a trench right before it’s supposed to surface, and the Naval mini-sub attempting to rescue those inside. Buy it here!

Click to see it bigger!The Nurse (1997)
Directed by Robert Malenfant

A young nurse by the name of Laura has a diabolical plot; she believes Mr. Bob Matin is the man responsible for her father going crazy and killing her family, then himself. Mr. Martin has himself a stroke that leaves him totally paralyzed and in need of a nurse, which is where she comes in. Slowly, methodically, she aids in the man’s death making sure it’s the longest and most painful it can be. Gotta respect a woman who loves her job! Buy it here!

Johnny Butane

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Jon Condit

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