Beastly Moves to March 4th

So, how emo are you? Do you shit broken hearts? Is your hair Crazy Glued down on one side of your face? Does your face stick to magnetic surfaces? Do you know that it’s better to cut up the road instead of across the street? Well then, we’ve got great news for you, oh whiny one!

CBS Films announced today that their totally troubled tweener take on Beauty and the Beast, Beastly, will officially be hitting theatres on March 4th instead of the previously announced March 18th! BUY YOUR EXTRA EYELINER NOW!!!!

Kyle Kingson (Alex Pettyfer) has it all – looks, intelligence, wealth, and opportunity – and a wicked cruel streak. Prone to mocking and humiliating “aggressively unattractive” classmates, he zeroes in on Goth classmate Kendra (Mary-Kate Olsen), inviting her to the school’s extravagant environmental bash. Kendra accepts, and, true to form, Kyle blows her off in a particularly savage fashion. She retaliates by casting a spell that physically transforms him into everything he despises. Enraged by his horrible and unrecognizable appearance, he confronts Kendra and learns that the only solution to the curse is to find someone that will love him as he is – a task he considers impossible.

Repulsed by his appearance, Kyle’s callous father banishes him to Brooklyn with a sympathetic housekeeper (LisaGay Hamilton) and blind tutor (Neil Patrick Harris). As Kyle ponders how to overcome the curse and get his old life back, he chances upon a drug addict in the act of killing a threatening dealer. Seizing the opportunity, Kyle promises the addict freedom and safety for his daughter, Lindy (Vanessa Hudgens), if she will consent to live in Kyle’s Brooklyn home. Thus begins Kyle’s journey to discover true love in this hyper-modern retelling of the classic “Beauty and the Beast” story.

Beastly Moves to March

Uncle Creepy

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Steve Barton

You're such an inspiration for the ways that I will never, ever choose to be.