Watch this Vampires Suck Trailer While I Blow My Brains Out

A long time ago, when the Internet was a much newer tool and you didn’t have to dig quite as hard to find some legitimately fucked up shit, I watched the infamous Budd Dwyer suicide video despite numerous cautions from friends. “You can’t unsee that shit.” The funny thing is that I haven’t thought of that story for years … until suffering through this particularly miserable trailer.

Yep, it’s coming to us from the delightful duo of Friedberg and Seltzer, those pesky culprits behind Epic Movie and Meet the Spartans. Enjoy this little ‘plot’ crunch before moving on to the main attraction:

Vampires Suck is a comedy about contemporary teen angst and romance movies. Becca, an anxious, non-vampire teen, is torn between two boys. Before she can choose, Becca must get around her controlling father, who embarrasses Becca by treating her like a child. Meanwhile, Becca’s friends contend with their own romantic issues – all of which collide at the prom.

According to Box Office Mojo the flick is still on track for its Wednesday(!?!) release date of August 18th.

Vampires Suck Exclusive Trailer – Watch more Funny Videos


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Matt Serafini

Author (Under the Blade, Feral), slasher movie enthusiast, N7 Operative. Plays games, watches movies, reads books. Occasionally writes about them.

  • NeoKefka

    About 60 seconds into that, the player froze and refused to start up again. I took that as a sign from God to run the fuck away.

    • GJW

      What makes you think it was God? LOL J/K

      Formerly FireRam

  • James Coker

    OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!! I only got about a minute through this

  • Terminal

    This is just as bad as it looks and then some. I could barely sit through it.
    “We are bad guys. That means we’ve got more to do other than bullying companies. It’s fun to lead a bad man’s life.”

  • theGoldenSimatar

    That 76 minutes including credits?

    I nearly vomited watching this…I get dry heaves just looking at a frame of it.

    • YandereSama

      Actually that’s without them, you only have like 30 seconds of end credits to the song “If I Were Your Vampire”

      It’s down there with all their other movies, though this one wasn’t quite as painful to sit through.

      I’ll be going now, I’m going to have to have a doctor remove the knives in my eyes.

      The only good of this is how some of the people they casted almost exactly match their Twilight counterparts. Namely Hooker Vampire, Bob Marley and Not-Sylar.

      But seriously Twilight is a parody of itself, does it need a shitty parody to do its job making it look bad? No, no it doesn’t.

      I’m a glutton for punishment of watching shit movies I guess. But no movie has ever beaten the awfulness of Raptor Planet. . .yet.

      “Why are you screaming, I haven’t even cut you yet. . .”

  • YandereSama

    Heh, and wouldn’t you know it a workprint actually leaked out on the net a few weeks before release. 76 minutes of crap again T_T

    You read that right. . . this movie is 76 minutes.

    “Why are you screaming, I haven’t even cut you yet. . .”

  • Sirand

    I’ve shat funnier things.