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Shark Attack, German Style


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Shark Attack, German SyleI’ve been asking for awhile now “Where have all the shark flicks gone?” It was only a few short years ago that you couldn’t walk into a video store or flip on a cable channel without stumbling across a new man-eating shark B-movie. And then, without warning, they were gone. The last one I know being the CBS TV movie Spring Break Shark Attack (review here), and if you read my review, then you know that one just didn’t cut it. The B-movie shark flicks dried up. Candlelight vigils were held on my part to no avail.

Thank god for German television!

I don’t know why, but for whatever reason, German television networks of late have almost turned into the Sci-Fi Channel, churning out movies about killer rats, killer crows, city-leveling tornadoes, and, hallelujah, even a killer shark flick. They even got German muscleman Ralf Moeller to star in this 2004 production; he of Best of the Best 2 villainy, Russell Crowe Gladiator sidekicking, and soon-to-be-seen in a couple Uwe Boll films.

“Devastated by the violent death of his wife, helicopter pilot Sven Hanson (Ralph Moeller) helplessly watches as his personal life and business unravel. He finds renewed hope on the exotic island of Mallorca until the day his peaceful life is rocked by the appearance of a gigantic 35-foot shark. When Hanson learns that this is the same monster that killed his wife, he teams up with attractive marine biologist Julia Bennett. Together they battle the beast in a dramatic fight for survival. Filled with nonstop, hair-raising surprises, Shark Attack in the Mediterranean takes deep-ocean terror to new depths!”

Ah, so it’s a personal grudge between muscleman and man-eater … I’m so there!

The fine folks at Image Entertainment will be releasing the quite-a-mouthful titled Shark Attack in the Mediterranean on July 10th. No extras on the disc, but who cares about such things; isn’t some hot shark-on-human action enough? Bless you, Image Entertainment!

The Foywonder

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Jon Condit