CBS Won’t Be Beastly Until 2011

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Just a few weeks removed from its announcement of shifting the release of Beastly so as not to clash with Universal’s upcoming Charlie St. Cloud, which stars Zac Efron, CBS Films has finally announced Beastly‘s new release date, and wow, is it pretty damned far off.

According to the studio fans will now be able to get their dosage of sappy tweener fodder on March 18, 2011. I know. We’re so upset that we’re literally shitting broken hearts. Time to shut off the lights and listen to more Death Cab for Cutie.

Synopsis
Kyle Kingson (Alex Pettyfer) has it all – looks, intelligence, wealth, and opportunity – and a wicked cruel streak. Prone to mocking and humiliating “aggressively unattractive” classmates, he zeroes in on Goth classmate Kendra (Mary-Kate Olsen), inviting her to the school’s extravagant environmental bash. Kendra accepts, and, true to form, Kyle blows her off in a particularly savage fashion. She retaliates by casting a spell that physically transforms him into everything he despises. Enraged by his horrible and unrecognizable appearance, he confronts Kendra and learns that the only solution to the curse is to find someone that will love him as he is – a task he considers impossible.

Repulsed by his appearance, Kyle’s callous father banishes him to Brooklyn with a sympathetic housekeeper (LisaGay Hamilton) and blind tutor (Neil Patrick Harris). As Kyle ponders how to overcome the curse and get his old life back, he chances upon a drug addict in the act of killing a threatening dealer. Seizing the opportunity, Kyle promises the addict freedom and safety for his daughter, Lindy (Vanessa Hudgens), if she will consent to live in Kyle’s Brooklyn home. Thus begins Kyle’s journey to discover true love in this hyper-modern retelling of the classic “Beauty and the Beast” story.

A Beastly New One-Sheet

Uncle Creepy

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