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The Most Memorable Meals of Horror: Part 1

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The Meals of Horror: Part 1

Let’s face it: Killing works up an appetite. Fortunately, some of our favorite horror movies have managed to introduce us to some of the most insane meals our eyes have ever seen. Some of them are comical, some are beautiful, and some are downright nauseating.

With that in mind, I’m starting this new series in which we’ll explore some of the most memorable meals to ever appear in horror movies. After you finish reading, feel free to send me suggestions for other macabre meals you’d like to see appear in future installments. Bon appétit!

The Meals of Horror!
SOUL PIZZA!

I have to start with Freddy Krueger. While the obvious choice is Freddy’s appearance as a chef in A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child, in which he stuffs Greta’s face to death, my personal favorite food moment is a scene in A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master. Alice is having another nightmare, and she finds herself in the diner where she works and comes face to face with an older version of herself who looks like she’s been working there for the past 40 years.

Seeing her older self is disturbing enough for Alice, but then Freddy shows up with a piping hot pizza pie. They may have held the anchovies, but nobody told them to hold the souls. The pizza is covered in sausage pieces, each representing souls of Freddy’s various victims. Freddy picks out one in particular – Alice’s screaming brother, Rick – jabs one his razor fingers into his cranium, and then devours Rick right before her eyes. “Rick, you little meatball!” It’s a classic Krueger kill that could only happen in his crazy dream world.

After having watched this scene, I’m sure plenty of horror fans now only order cheese pizzas with absolutely no sausage toppings. You never can be too safe, right?

The Meals of Horror!
BRAIN BITES!

When it comes to dining, no character in horror has a more refined palate than Dr. Hannibal Lecter. Despite the gruesome nature of his cannibalistic murders, there was always a twisted elegance to them as well. While there’s no doubt that The Silence of the Lambs is the best film in the series, it was the 2001 movie Hannibal which had his most impressive culinary creation.

Towards the end of the film, Hannibal (Anthony Hopkins) has captured and drugged Paul Krendler (Ray Liotta) and is now preparing a very special meal for him – his own brains! Clarice Starling can only watch in horror as Lecter carves off a piece of Krendler’s brain, fries it in a pan, and then feeds it to him. Krendler enjoys it quite a bit, not even aware that he’s eating his own grey matter.

While Clarice has no interest in sampling this delicacy, Hannibal later meets a young boy on a flight who is very curious about the strange looking meal. Sure enough, Hannibal allows the kid to have a bite. Feeding a man his own brains and then allowing a little boy to have a taste as well? Hannibal, you have one hell of a sick mind… and we love you for it.

Note: If you think his meals in the films are works of art, you really need to watch the “Hannibal” television series for some gorgeously gruesome gluttony.

The Meals of Horror!
WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU LEMONS…

I’ll admit, I’ve never been a big fan of Eli Roth’s movies. However, there are moments in his first film, Cabin Fever, that I can appreciate. I mean, if you can’t enjoy “Pancakes,” the ninja wonder kid, you’re clearly taking things too seriously. We all know that Cabin Fever is about a flesh-eating virus that’s spread through the local water supply and how it results in the demise of a group of friends who rent a remote cabin. But to me, the greatest part of Cabin Fever is how it leaves you with a greater sense of how the tainted water is going to harm far more people in the near future.

First, we see some children filling a cooler with the bad water from a local creek and then using it to make lemonade, which they then sell to the police officers who disposed of the victims’ bodies earlier on. They thought they had the situation under control; yet, here we are, watching them drink the water that will surely result in their own undoing. Then, to show just how large the problem is about to grow, we see a truck promoting fresh mountain spring water driving off. All that diseased, bottled water being delivered to god knows where. It’s scary because it’s the kind of outbreak you could actually see happening in the real world.

And yes, I know lemonade isn’t exactly a “meal”, but beverages are part of any good meal, and that’s good enough for me. Work with me here, people.

The Meals of Horror!
DISINTEGRATED DONUTS!

Jeff Goldblum in The Fly. Just mentioning those five words alone should let you know where I’m going with this tidbit. The Fly is easily one of the greatest sci-fi horror films of the Eighties, and the way they handled Seth Brundle’s tragic metamorphosis into Brundlefly was absolutely brilliant.

As time goes on in the film, we see Brundle become more and more like a fly – such as him being able to cling to walls and his body deteriorating to the point in which he loses his teeth and fingernails. Perhaps most disturbing of all, however, is when Brundle demonstrates how he now eats his food the same way that flies do. He pukes up digestive enzymes onto a donut so that it can be dissolved and then consumed. Later on in the film, he uses those newfound barfabilities to melt the limbs of Stathis Boranis. It’s truly repulsive in all the right ways. Kudos to Geena Davis for sticking with him as long as she did because if any guy put “donut dissolving” on his Tinder profile these days, I’m pretty sure most ladies would swipe left in a heartbeat.

The Meals of Horror!
GREEN MACHINE!

“Oh my Goooooooooood!!!” It only makes sense that we’d have something from Troll 2 in this series, considering it takes place in a world where having sex in a trailer causes corn to pop until you drown in it. Well, the trolls who inhabit the town of Nilbog have a very strong appetite… for people! Oddly enough, they’re also vegetarians. So what’s a b-movie troll to do in a situation like this? Why, they use the magic of Stonehenge and put it into milk in order to melt humans into big piles of green vegetable slop! If I were shopping in a strange town and someone handed me a carton of milk that wasn’t even stored in a refrigerator, I’d politely decline and get the hell out of there. But hey, that’s just me.

If you’re planning on taking a tour of Nilbog, do yourself a favor and eat a “double-decker bologna sandwich” before you do. Trust me on this one.

The Meals of Horror!
MAGGOT MUNCH!

How can you go wrong with The Lost Boys? It’s such a great film, and while we all know they feast on the blood of humans, The Lost Boys introduced us to a whole new side of vampires. Naturally, I’m speaking of Vampire Pranks!

After the head of the vampire gang, David (Kiefer Sutherland) gets Michael (Jason Patric) to join him in their hotel ruins lair, he begins to toy with him. He hands Michael some Chinese food, starting with steamed rice. After Michael eats the rice, David asks him, “Maggots, Michael. You’re eating maggots. How do they taste?” Michael then looks down into his container and sees maggots crawling inside it. He immediately spits them out, and they appear as rice again, while everyone laughs at him. Soon after, David pulls a similar trick on him, making noodles look like slithering worms.

Honestly, I could go for a full 90-minute movie of vampires using their powers of persuasion to pull all kinds of pranks of people. Is that too much to ask for in a sequel to What We Do In the Shadows? Regardless, I don’t know any fan of The Lost Boys who doesn’t think of this scene any time they dine on Chinese take-out food.

The Meals of Horror!
ENOUGH IS NEVER ENOUGH!

You didn’t think I’d leave out one of the most infamous meals in the history of horror flicks, did you? The Stuff, both the title of the film and the name of the addictive product that people can’t get enough of, is something I always imagine tasted like a combination of Cool Whip mixed with Elmer’s Paste. Doesn’t sound all that tasty, but it makes it extra amusing when you watch the characters in the film scarf it down. Regardless of what it was supposed to taste like, it’s the fact that the characters tasted it to begin with that always amazed me.

If you found a milky white substance bubbling out of the earth, would you run to alert the authorities, or would you instinctively taste it? Well, if you’re living in this movie, you’d choose the latter for some insane reason. That’s horror movie logic for ya.

Now, while The Stuff is delicious and has no calories, there is one serious drawback of consuming it: It’s a parasitic substance that will take control of your brain, turning you into a mindless creature (you know, like the ones you see hanging out in YouTube comment sections). Oh, and when it’s through with you, it’ll just eat you alive from the inside out. “Are you eating it, or is it eating you?” is the “Which came first: the chicken or the egg?” of horror movies as far as I’m concerned.

Well, I suppose that is one way to go on a diet.

The Meals of Horror!
EDIBLE EARANGEMENTS!

Yes, I’m proud of that stupid pun, but I’m more proud of Peter Jackson for holding nothing back when he filmed his gross-out masterpiece, Dead Alive (aka Brain Dead), early in his career. There are so many splatterific moments in this movie that I can (and probably will) dedicate an entire article to it, but since we’re on the topic of food, there’s one specific moment in the movie that continues to make people’s stomachs churn to this day.

Of course, I’m speaking of the classic dining scene in which we get close-up shots of Lionel Cosgrove’s dinner guests eating custard. Now, seeing people eating custard that closely is already enough to make you nauseous, but this is far worse. Lionel’s mum has an open wound that spurts into one of the bowls of custard and gets devoured by a guest who doesn’t even notice it. In fact, he compliments how “rich and creamy” it is. As if that’s not enough, mum’s ear falls off into her own custard, which she then begins to devour as well. It’s equal parts hilarious and nasty. Barf me a river!

That’s all for this first piece in my “Most Memorable Meals of Horror” series. Be sure drop a comment below, on the Dread Central Facebook page, or tweet me at @imockery or with your suggestions for the upcoming second installment! As Audrey II would say… “Feed me, Seymour!”

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Ryan Schifrin’s Abominable Gets a Sasquatch-Sized Blu-Ray

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A recent scientific study concluded that since the year 2000 there have 4,374,139 killer Bigfoot movies. 2006’s Abominable is one of the better Sasquatch-ploitation flicks of the era. Now this creature feature is getting a collector’s edition blu-ray complete with a brand new cut of the gruesome flick.

MVD Rewind Collection has announced they’re planning a special edition of Ryan Schifrin’s gory Hitchcock-influenced Bigfoot flick Abominable, which cast Matt McCoy as a wheelchair bound man who begins Rear Window-ing a psycho Sasquatch terrorizing his hot-blooded cabin neighbors that then turns his big foot towards him. Lance Henriksen, Dee Wallace, Jeffrey Combs, Tiffany Shepis, Haley Joel, Karin Anna Cheung, and Paul Gleason co-star.

It has been sighted 42,000 times in 68 countries, a vicious creature of myth and legend called Sasquatch, Yeti, and perhaps most infamously, Bigfoot. It’s been hunted it for years. But what happens when it decides to hunt us?



After recovering from a horrific accident, paraplegic Preston Rogers (Matt McCoy) moves back into the remote cabin where he and his now-deceased wife once lived. When his new neighbor Karen, is attacked by a gigantic creature, Rogers contacts the local authorities. But after the police and those around him dismiss Rogers as a delusional widower, he sets out to stop the abominable creature himself.

This won’t be your typical collector’s edition as not only will be getting a new high definition transfer of the film originally shot on 35mm, this will also include an all-new cut of the film with improved CGI-effects overseen by filmmaker Schifrin and editor Chris Conlee with enhanced color timing and correction.

As if two cuts of the film weren’t enough, MVD’s Abominable release will also boast a ton of extras both new and ported over from the original DVD release:
-Brand New 2k Remaster of the Film from the Original Camera Negative
-Brand New Introduction from Director Ryan Schifrin (HD)
-‘Basil & Mobius: No Rest For The Wicked’ (16:28, HD) – New short film written and directed by Ryan Schifrin featuring a score by legendary composer Lalo Schifrin and starring Zachari Levi, Ray Park, Malcolm McDowell and Kane Hodder
-Audio Commentary with writer/director Ryan Schifrin, Actors Matt McCoy and Jeffrey Combs
-‘Back to Genre: Making ABOMINABLE” featurette (SD)
-Deleted and Extended Scenes (SD)
-Outtakes and Bloopers (SD)
-“Shadows” Director Ryan Schifrin’s USC Student Film (SD)
-The original 2005 version of “Abominable” (Blu-ray only, 94 mins, SD)
-Original Theatrical Trailer
-Poster & Still Gallery Storyboard Gallery
-Collectible Poster
-Audio: 5.1 Surround Audio (Uncompressed PCM on the Blu-ray)

The MVD Rewind Collection release of Abomimable stomps its way to blu-ray on June 12th.

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Horror Retro Caps Boasts Hats Featuring The Lamp, The Video Dead, Rosemary’s Killer and more!

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Yesterday I was stumbling around on Instagram and I came across this killer account called @horrorretrocaps. They make horror movie-themed hats and I felt the need to share their work with you guys today.

It’s not so much the hats (which are cool), or the quality of the product (which looks sound as a pound) but it is the obvious love of horror by the guys behind the scenes that gets me all warm and fuzzy.

I mean sure there are products like A Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th, and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. But they also have hats celebrating such classics as The Outing, The Lamp (hell, yeah!), The Gate, Zombie Lake, and The Video Dead.

Nice!

On top of that, the product that sealed the deal for me was their Rosemary’s Killer hat. As some of you might know, Rosemary’s Killer is the alternate title of Joseph Zito’s underrated slasher The Prowler. That alone just earned them horror-cred for days.

You can check out some of their choice caps below and then head on over to their account to purchase some product: @horrorretrocaps.

All caps are $15 plus $4 shipping in the U.S., and he also takes requests for $20.

Enjoy!

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Jurassic Park T-Rex Stomps Through Ready Player One Trailer #3

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Is that the f*cking T-Rex!?

It was only earlier this week that we brought you guys the new “pure 80’s nostalgia” poster (to the right) for Steven Spielberg’s new action-adventure film Ready Player One.

And if all the promotional materials we have seen thus far haven’t done anything to raise your interest in the film (including trailers which featured Freddy Krueger, Chucky, Christine, and King Kong) then today’s new might not help matters much.

But all the same today we have a new trailer which features the mighty T-Rex from Spielberg’s own Jurassic Park and a bunch of new character posters for good measure.

I’m just going to come right out and say that as impressed as I am with the trailers for this film, I can’t help but feel someone watched theImaginationland episode of “South Park” and thought, “Mother of God… call Steven Speilberg!”

You can check out the character posters and the new trailer below and then let us know what you think of the film thus far.

Ready Player One is directed by Steven Spielberg from a script by Zak Penn and Ernest Cline, based on the novel by Cline. The film stars Tye Sheridan, Mark Rylance, Olivia Cooke, Simon Pegg, and Ben Mendelsohn.

The film hits theaters March 29, 2018.

Synopsis:

When the creator of an MMO called the Oasis dies, he releases a video in which he challenges all Oasis users to find his Easter Egg, which will give the finder his fortune. Wade Watts finds the first clue and starts a race for the Egg.

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