News of the Weird: He Who Hunts C.H.U.D.s

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The news today tends to be depressing, but sometimes a story comes across the police blotter that is just … weird. Such is the case of a story out of Washington State earlier this week about cops detaining a crazy, sword-swinging hunter of movie monsters.

From this past Tuesday’s Seattle Times “Blotter” comes the following oddball news blurb:

Sword-waving man detained on Bainbridge Island

Bainbridge Island police have detained a man they say was waving a large sword around and stabbing objects in the parking lot of a Bainbridge Island building supply store.

The shirtless 35-year-old man was covered with scrapes and cuts. He told the off-duty Bainbridge Island police officer who approached him Tuesday afternoon that he was ‘hunting werewolves and C.H.U.D.s’ who could disguise themselves as humans. The man said he feared getting hurt.

The man put down his sword and throwing knives at the officer’s request and was taken to Harrison Memorial Hospital for evaluation.”

C.H.U.D.s disguised as humans? He must have been hunting Bud the CHUD, not the glowy-eyed, mutant, New York City sewer-dwelling C.H.U.D.s from the original film.

As for hunting werewolves, he’s already in Washington. Perhaps instead of sending him away for psychiatric evaluation, they should just drop him off in the city of Forks. I hear there’s a tribe of werewolves disguised as Native American underwear models that could use a good slaying.

News of the Weird: He Who Hunts C.H.U.D.s

The Foywonder

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  • kalebson

    Time to remake CHUD isnt it?

    • Styling Shatner

      Sure. And I know the perfect guy to do it… HELL YEAH!

      Hey, he was rumored to do it a few years ago, so he might as well do so.

      • RingoJ

        I think remaking it more along the lines of [REC] would be interesting. You got your people, you got your sewer, you got your CHUDs.

        • AngryChairr

          Or it just doesn’t get remade at all?

          • RingoJ

            CHUD is the perfect kind of movie to remake.

  • Terminal

    So the CHUDS and werewolves are working together in a scheme to take over the world? Seems about right.

    It’s always the crazy people who have their prophecies. Then the lycanthropes and monsters are coming out of the sewers and then he’ll be needed.
    “We are bad guys. That means we’ve got more to do other than bullying companies. It’s fun to lead a bad man’s life.”

  • The Buz

    Way to go Bainbridge police! You’ve doomed us all!

  • DavidFullam

    Better he kill Bud than the real CHUDs. Real CHUDs are cool.

  • Daniel

    So, the C.H.U.D.s have mutated, and the police arrested the one guy who was trying to save us?!

    • DavidFullam

      And he knew just how to do it too. Swipe off the head with a sword, just like Kim Greist!