As much time as I’ve spent ragging on The Asylum for their straight-to-DVD knock-offs of big screen films that usually end up being plodding, inept, and not even trying to rip-off the movies they’re ripping off with any real imagination to the point of, well, sucking hard, I think we may finally be on the verge of The Asylum churning out a real winner. The law of averages says it’s bound to happen eventually. In this case, it’s The Asylum’s Snakes on a Train. I don’t think I have to tell you what upcoming big screen movie this one is piggybacking off of.
For those that missed my previous Snakes on a Train article, the plot has to do with a passenger train traveling from Mexico to Los Angeles. A female passenger has fallen victim to a Mayan curse that causes tons of deadly snakes to slither out of her body and attack the passengers of what will soon become an out of control train.
Judging by the film’s trailer that The Asylum has just uploaded to their website, not only do they have to contend with cursed snakes loose on the train, there’s even a snake big enough to swallow the train. It looks cheap, cheesy as all hell, and, god help me, kinda fun, which is more than I can say about my experiences with the majority of their past knock-offs. Hillside Cannibals anyone? Ugh.
If Snakes on a Train proves to be a worthy B-movie, then it couldn’t come at a better time for The Asylum, as their business practice of mimicking big screen releases is beginning to get them some serious mainstream press. The New York Post just did an interview with Asylum honcho David Latt regarding their “mockbusters”. It’s nice to see he has a sense of humor about this business model. I just wish their schlock was more fun and less painful to watch. Pirates of Treasure Island anyone? Double ugh.
Snakes on a Train is scheduled to arrive on DVD August 15th – mere days before the theatrical opening of Snakes on a Plane. In the meantime, check out the trailer for some schlocky, bloody, low budget, killer snake goofiness.
What animals would you let loose in our forums?