Jaws Direct to Your House?

Now this is just all kinds of weird if you ask me. The latest trend studios are jumping on is this whole direct-to-DVD sequel thing which, when in the right hands (Wrong Turn 2, God willing), can be a good idea and a great way to give new directors a shot at their first feature. But when it’s in the wrong hands, like studio morons who know next to nothing about the movies they’re sequelizing and are only looking at the bottom line, well, you get shit like this. Obviously we can’t vouch for the legitimacy of this news, but it just sounds so very realistic…

Arrow in the Head got word today that there might be a STD (straight to DVD, you pervs) sequel to Universal’s big, ugly flop, Van Helsing with Julian (“Nip/Tuck”, Fantastic Four) McMahon set to step into the shoes vacated and ashamedly hid under the bed by Hugh Jackman. This news comes down courtesy of a rather lengthy bit of insanity over on Film Rot, the main focus of which is actually an attempt to get some STD Jaws sequels off the ground.

Yeah, that Jaws; the one that hung its head in shame and limped off into obscurity after Jaws 4, hoping to never be heard from again. Now, since CG is so cheap and DVD sequels so profitable, the author of the piece states that there are some serious discussions going down to make it happen.

So why is it idiotic, outside of the obvious? Click here to read the entire sordid tale on Film Rot, and perhaps you will better understand. Like I said, we have no way of knowing how legit it all is, but the story this guy tells sounds so much like Hollywood it wouldn’t surprise me for a second if it were all true.

Johnny Butane

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Jon Condit

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