MTV Movie Awards Enter the Twilight Zone
Steve Barton
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Whenever we do a story about Twilight or its upcoming sequels, we inevitably get inundated with comments from hardcore horror fans demanding more Twilight news. More Twilight, you all demand. Know who else can’t get enough Twilight? MTV’s audience. Last night the MTV Movie Awards entered the Twilight zone, and the tweener girl genital tingling tale of bloodlust and abstinence took home most of the awards. So all you Twilight haters, I’ve got two words for you: Suck it!
Best Movie of 2008: Twilight
Duh! Was there ever any doubt? The Dark Knight may have made upwards of a billion dollars worldwide, but it has now been conclusively proven to be inferior to Robbert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart’s stare-a-thon. The shimmering-in-sunlight story of awkward teen vamp romance even bested Oscar winning Best Picture Slumdog Millionaire in the category. It is written? Yep. And Stephenie Meyer wrote it. Use a lifeline for that, Jamal!
And the Twilight train didn’t stop there.
Best Female Performance: Kristen Stewart (Twilight)
Breakthrough Performance (Male): Robert Pattinson (Twilight)
Best Fight: Cam Gigandet & Robert Pattinson (Twilight)
Best Kiss: Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart (Twilight)
To paraphrase The Platters, last night at the MTV Movie Awards, “Heavenly shades of night are falling; it’s Twilight time.”
Other non-Twilight, and thus less important, winners included:
Best Male Performance: Zac Efron (High School Musical 3: Senior Year)
Breakthrough Performance (Female): Ashley Tisdale (High School Musical 3: Senior Year)
Best Song From A Movie: The Climb by Miley Cyrus (Hannah Montana: The Movie)
MTV Generation Award: Ben Stiller
Best Comedic Performance: Jim Carrey (Yes Man)
Best WTF Moment: Amy Poehler (Baby Mama)
Best Movie Villain: Heath Ledger (The Dark Knight)
No doubt the sympathy vote was the only reason Heath Ledger bested Cam Gigandet or his dreadlocked, shirt-hating, baseball game-interrupting African-American sidekick for Best Villain.
Also of no doubt, looking over the full list of award winners last night, I think it is safe to say the only people still watching MTV anymore are 14-year-old girls.
Now that Twilight movie dominance is fully secured, you have no choice but to go watch the new trailer for its sequel New Moon and get a taste of the motion picture that will sweep next year’s MTV Movie Awards. Pale pretty boy vampires that look longingly vs. shirtless pretty boys that instantly morph into wolves, all vying for the love of a nervous teenage girl who’d much rather be off smoking weed; I predict it’ll win every golden popcorn statue next year.
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