New Moon’s Wolf Pack Look Nipple-tastic!

The first image from the sequel to Twilight, Chris Weitz’s “>New Moon, found its way online today courtesy of USA Today, and I swear to Christ I nearly spit out my drink when I saw it!

Come on, guys, we know you’re aimed at the teenage girl demographic, but really? Seriously? Wow. Just wow. These guys look as if they just walked out of the sexiest American Indian inspired Creed video ever filmed.

Check out the image below and look for this second adaptation in Stephenie Meyer’s book series to be in theatres in November.

Left to right: Paul (Alex Meraz), Sam (Chaske Spencer), Jared (Bronson Pelletier), and Embry (Kiowa Gordon).

New Moon's Wolf Pack Look Nipple-tastic!

Uncle Creepy

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  • CMax

    After just watching the trailer with the werewolf transformation – why did they all have to be in ripping shape if they end up being what looks like a shaggy, mangy mutt?

  • Kane86

    There are way too many fucking fake ass vampire movies on the market. Everyone says there is too many zombie moives but really. I think they are mistaken.

  • eternally-dazzled

    Come on now guys they didn’t ‘rape’ the Twilight movie more like ‘molested’ it.

    I had never heard of Twilight the book or the movie I thought it something to do with The Twilight Zone. But when my partner took me to go see Twilight, obviously I was spell-bound. As soon as I returned home I googled ‘Twilight’ and read the book the next day and then the restof the series.

    As someone who had never read or heard the book I found the movie to be informative so I believe it to be fine with an audience that does not plan to read Twilight or any of the other books. They both have their advantages and disadvantages.

    As for the way Stephanie Meyer described the werewolfs/shape-shifters phasing I imagined it to be like popping popcorn in a way (puwf!). I actually believe New Moon Movie will be good, though it is raced a little bit after the first installment, because they have a bigger budget and Bella’s hallucinations will not just be Edward’s voice but a vision of Edward.

  • DavidFullam

    Just wondering, is Victor Salva in any way involved?

    • Gus Bjork

      Salva? Naw, this is David DeCoteau territory.

  • Grave-Danger

    Say it with me now…Homoerotic shaving.

  • DavidFullam

    Right Said Fred 2009.

  • Cartoon Autopsy

    I have no idea what this is all about besides it’s Twilight related. What are these guys suppose to be? Werewolfs or something? Looks more like a reject boyband than anything else.

  • goblin310

    omg i rolling over laughing right now… Nipple-tastic ill have to remember that 1

  • Rob

    I’m getting a feeling we’re going to see some major Blood and Chocolate inspired transformation scenes in this film.

    • krawlingkhaos

      Since everyone seems to hate the last book (or so I hear), maybe the last movie will just be a vampire vs. werewolf shimmer-off with Edward and Jacob standing across from each other and powering up like Dragonball Z for an hour and a half.

      • Rob

        That’d be more entertaining than the normal movie, I bet.

        By the way, did anyone else hear that David Slade is in talks to direct the third film?

        • The Woman In Black

          The Slade talk is just rumors at this point — much like when Barrymore was in contention to direct it.

    • Morgan Elektra

      Hopefully not, if they stay true to the book. According to Meyer’s description, they “phase” by their wolf forms sort of exploding out of them (since the wolves are much larger than their human selves). Hence the lack of clothes – anything they’re wearing gets torn to shreds.

      • Rob

        When you say they explode out of them, do you mean they tear out of their skin? Because I suddenly have the Van Helsing transformation scene in my head and I’d just like some clarity on that.

        • Morgan Elektra

          Well, to be fair I’m just giving you the impression I got from Meyer’s description. But from how I interpreted it, no they don’t actually explode out of their skin. They’re not really werewolves, they’re shapeshifters – so they don’t really adhere to werewolf cannon. The way Meyer described it seems to me that if you were looking at them, one second there would be a man there and then the next would be a humungous wolf about the size of a bear. The change is so fast the human eye can’t catch it. It’s just all noise and fur and clothes torn to shreds.

          • Rob

            Ahhh, okay. Fair enough, though I keep calling them werewolves since shapeshifters has always been – to me anyway – what you’d call someone who could shapeshift into more than one other form, like various people or different animals, etc, and since werewolves don’t adhere to werewolf canon half the time anyway, it all works out.

            I finally watched this movie about a week ago. Never read the books, but…wow. Cam Gigandet, Rachelle Lefevre, Ed Gathegi, and Billy Burke were the only people who didn’t make fools out of themselves.

            Ultimately, the problems came down to Robert and Kristen. Now, as I have never read the books, I don’t know how they acted in Twilight, but they both acted like they were leading into one of the most unhealthy relationships I’ve ever seen in a movie. Particularly Kristen Stewart, who kept acting like this obsessed clingy borderline stalker, like Foy said. Like when she realizes Edward’s snuck into her room and has been spying on her for a few months, she looks like that’s turning her on, and she wants him to rip her clothes off and violently take her virginity, and when he doesn’t, she gets awkward. Very awkward. And I was kinda hoping it would embrace that idea, instead of acting it out but pretending like it’s something else. Because then at least it’d be something different.

            Oh, and when the vampires run, I fell out of my chair, particularly when he first takes Bella up the mountain. That was one of the most retarded things I’ve ever seen.

            It beats Blood and Chocolate though, more because I read the Blood and Chocolate book before seeing the movie and seeing how horribly they raped it. But it’s still a bad movie.

          • Morgan Elektra

            Meyer’s wolfpack technically ARE shapeshifters… in that long ago their Indian forebears could take any shape (think spirit animals), and based on the way it’s explained they probably still could if any of them wanted to fuck around with it. But they’re people began taking the shape of wolves (not all of them, just the spirit warriors) and it becomes tribe tradition. Meyer actually does a pretty wonderful job of building up the tribe legends and there’s a great scene in Eclipse where we get to hear them. The reason I differentiate them as shapeshifters is because in teh Twilight universe werewolves DO exist seperately (they’re called the Children of the Moon, and we don’t see any of them just hear about them – they’ve been hunted almost to extinction by the vampires), and what little we learn about them adheres to cannon. They change at the full moon, etc.

            Your observations about Rob and Kristen are spot on. Although I blame mostly the direction. Bella and Edwards characters in the book are very rich and multi-dimensional, and though it IS almost unhealthy how consumed by each other they are- the intensity of it is acknowledged by the characters themselves. Unlike in the movie, they’re both more three dimensional and real and it comes off as much less creepy. And there definitely is an element of her wanting him to ravish her, which he’s afraid to do, that DOES cause all kinds of awkwardness – the first few times he attempts to kiss her (to try it out and see if he can do it without being overcome by bloodlust), she jumps all over him and he has to basically push her away. Oh, and don’t get me started on the ridiculous wirework in the movie! It looked so cartoonish.

            I didn’t see Blood & Chocolate, or read the book (I will one of these days!) but I feel much the same way about the rape of Twilight. I’m not really looking forward to New Moon either, as it’s the weakest book in the series. But now that Slade is on board for Eclipse… well, that could really be something! I’ve already begun imagining the climax done right. Gotta try not to get my hopes up!

          • Rob

            Ahhh, okay, that part I didn’t know. Children of the Moon sounds like a spinoff or something, I gotta say.

            Oh, right, I forgot about Jackson Rathbone…that should be the face lurking under Sadako’s hair when she crawls out of the television in Ring.

            I could rant quite a bit on Blood and Chocolate, and then my fiancee would show up and add twenty more paragraphs onto that. I liked that book quite a bit; she adores it, and absolutely despises what the studio did to it.

            I will admit Eclipse looks like it has potential with David Slade. And New Moon too, more because of Michael Sheen and Garham Greene, who I remember from that failed werewolf tv show Wolf Lake with Lou Diamond Phillips, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, and Scott Bairstow.

          • Morgan Elektra

            Meyer has said she plans on doing more stories involving other characters within the Twilight universe, and I have to admit that one that I would like to hear is about the real werewolves. It’s hinted at that one of the head vamps, I think it’s Caius, has a history with them and is the one who masterminded the vampires hunting down and exterminating them.

            I’m hoping Slade really flexes his creative muscle with Summit on Eclipse and doesn’t let them make him downplay the violence. And given his adept work with tension and constantly changing relatinships in Hard Candy, I’m not at all worried about him handling the love triangle stuff going on with a drab hand. Hopefully he won’t neglect the humor and tension that got thrown by the wayside in the first flick. I’m not really all that optimistic about New Moon, mainly because it’s really the story of Jacob and his wolf pack and Bella is only there within the confines of her developing relationship with Jake, and Edward isn’t there at all. So I worry they’re beefing up the Bella & Edward bits to the detriment of the wolf storyline.

          • Rob

            Guess we’ll see what happens, though they’ll probably beef up the Bella and Edward bits, since vampires have always been preferred over werewolves anyway. The Underworld series is a perfect example. With the revelation at the end of the first one, you’d expect the lycans to play a bigger role, or even have Michael lead them since he has Lucian’s memories. But no, the only werewolves are rabid ones who we never see the human forms of. Granted, they fixed that with Rise of the Lycans, but they really blew a wasted opportunity with Evolution, and just turned it into Selene: The Movie. Of course I always thought Selene and Michael were the weakest characters in that whole franchise anyway. I’d stick with Lucian, Viktor, Marcus, and that cute blonde vampire played by Sophia Myles from the first movie who went missing in the sequel for no real reason.

            Oh, that reminds me. I recommend everyone go and download the Twilight Rifftrax over at their official site. *is listening to it right now*

Steve Barton

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