Dakota Fanning Official for Twlight Sequel, New Moon

Dakota Fanning Official for Twilight Sequel, New MoonAs Dakota Fanning continues to blossom into womanhood, causing older guys everywhere to begin feeling creepy and unclean, the former child acting moppet is now officially set to vamp it up in New Moon, the next tweentacular installment in the Twilight film series.

The Los Angeles Times reports the 15-year-old Fanning, fresh from displaying her psychic chalk scribbling skills in Push, will join cranky pot enthusiast Kristen Stewart and Cro-Magnon-browed Robert Pattison as villainous vampire “Jane” in Summit Entertainment’s first Twilight follow-up, New Moon, which begins shooting next month for a planned November 20th release. Mark your calendars now. Better yet, go ahead and start camping out in front of theaters.

Without having my 14-year-old niece around to explain to me all things Twilight, I found myself forced to consult that most magical of oracles we call the “world wide web” for an explanation as to who this “Jane” character is that young Fanning will be portraying. Here’s what I found:

Jane is a sadistic guard of the Volturi and a pet of Aro’s. She seems rather bitter and easily justifies inflicting pain on anyone with her power. Jane has a twin brother named Alec and they both reside in Volterra, Italy.

The Volturi had their eyes on Jane and Alec as potential people to change back when they were still human, but were waiting until they were older to change them. When frightened humans threatened to burn the twins at the stake, Aro was forced to change them while they were still young. Jane has since become one of the prize members of the Volturi Guard and is one of their highest ranking guards.”

If anything written in those two paragraphs makes any sense to you whatsoever, odds are you’re either female or fourteen, and more than likely you can also name all three Jonas Brothers.

The next Twilight movie may not be Fanning’s only run-in with the surly Stewart. They’re also in talks to co-star together in The Runaways, a biopic about the groundbreaking and hard partying 1970’s punk rock band of the same name. If so, Kristen Stewart will play Joan Jett, Dakota Fanning will be Cheri Currie, and audiences everywhere will be mortified.

The Foywonder

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  • Emy

    Kevin, Joe and Nick are the Jonas Bothers…

    How the fehk do I remember that, I have no idea… Ask my 8 y.o. sister-in-law (yes you read that right).

  • Avid Fan

    I couldn’t help but to go to the Cheri Currie website to see what Dakota would be up against. I have to say that Cheri’s chainsaw carving skills are amazing (yes, that is sarcasam), and Dakota can easily fill this roll if ever it were to happen.

  • Blockbuster

    So…my wife talked me into watching Twilight last night, because she’s read all 4 books and wanted to watch it with me…I personally thought it was not a bad flick…kinda anti-climatic…but not bad…and I do understand what the paragraphs said, but only because my wife explained it all to me last night…so…with that being said… bash away! Heh.

  • The Woman In Black

    You can’t fool me, Foy. You’re obviously just another angsty teenage girl at heart — otherwise, how would know exactly how many Jonas brothers there are? I certainly don’t!

    • PelusaMG

      Did they sing songs in the belly of the whale?