The Jaded Horror Fan – #Trending

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Does it irritate anyone else when, during the first 15 minutes of a movie, you already know where it’s going, who will survive, and how it will end? These things, among many others, are beginning to plague modern horror, thus making a high percentage of movies predictable. This spans across other genres as well, but for the sake of this article, horror is what will be discussed.

For lack of a better word, these “trends” are becoming tiresome and, sadly, don’t seem to be changing anytime soon. Let’s discuss some of the more prevalent horror trends to date and how much we detest them.

The Jaded Horror Fan

Probably the main reason the horror community is ambushed with an overabundance of movies is that most are following the same formula: house/shack/cabin in a secluded area, college coeds, broken down car, and killer/monster. Say one of the coeds had a handheld camera and for an idiotic reason decides to keep filming; you’d have found footage. Take away that camera, and you have a generic slasher/monster in the woods flick. In either of those two scenarios, throw in some booze/weed and some T&A, and you’re set. Oh, one of the girls in the group has to be overly emo. Who cares about writing, right? Just get some half-decent looking people, and you’re on your way to VOD.

Dreadcentral.com hailed The Cabin in The Woods “the best horror film of 2012.” As a writer for said site and as a horror fan in general, I still disagree with that. And no, I don’t have an alternative to take its place. I get that it was supposed to be a satirical take on the overly used horror movie plot, but if that really is true, why so serious? I’ll try not to pick on specific movies here; I’ll instead call out the ones who broke the mold and those who helped form the mold in the first place.

There are two films which started the biggest trends out there – Evil Dead and The Blair Witch Project. Both have become “cult classics” and are touted as pinnacles in their respective genres. I agree with this, but the plethora of shit that came over recent years needs to stop… and soon.

There is another trend that I haven’t mentioned yet, and that would be the haunted house/exorcism. I’m throwing them into one category since they’re both dealing with the supernatural. The Exorcist is no doubt the best exorcism story put to film, and the vast majority would agree with me. But when talking haunted house, arguably Poltergeist takes the cake. The strange similarities between these two regarding the offset tragedies are pretty scary in their own right, never mind the movies.

Making a film which deals with any of the abovementioned plot devices is fine, of course, but it’s when the writer is a lazy asshole and spoon-feeds the audience all of the answers that I have a problem. I like a bit of ambiguity and non-archetypal characters; is that too much to ask? I can almost count the times when watching something in horror where the last five minutes is spent showing a montage of clips and a voiceover explaining why these things were important.  Are there really people out there who need that?

Let’s take a few moments and talk about characters and how it’s starting to become impossible to differentiate them from movie to movie, my biggest gripe being the group of coeds put in a ridiculous scenario and the stupid shit they do, almost asking to be killed. How many times has this scenario played out:

“Mike has a relative who owns a piece of property in an area which requires bolt cutters and machete to access, and in some cases a warning is given to not visit the property. His childhood friends Jack and John join him, and at the last minute Mike and Jack both bring their girlfriends, and John secretly has a crush on either of them. One of the girls drags her little sister along for the ride, and we’re constantly reminded how much she hates being there and/or hates her older sister.”

That is the basis of a very high percentage of Netflix and VOD horror. Next thing you have to do is throw in Bigfoot, a crazy killer, or aliens; and there you have it. The characters in a supernatural plot are really no different when deeming them archetypal. You have a married couple, most of the time, and one of them never believes the other, which is even more frustrating when watching found footage and the damn person is viewing the recordings!

All of the issues I have revolve around characters and the plot in which they’re used. Today the lines are starting to blur in terms of genres as crossovers are happening more frequently than in the past. This isn’t a bad thing whatsoever; just look at Behind the Mask, which was an awesome blend of documentary/slasher. But as a whole the quality isn’t there, and most of these turn out to be the same plot.

I’d like recommendations of some films that were able to blend genres and create something that breaks the mold.

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