DVD Release List: Altered Wicker

Some good stuff lies in wait for you come December 19th, 2006…

Click to see it bigger!Altered (2006)
Directed by Ed Sanchez

Long promised to be a theatrical release from Rogue, apparently despite their hip “newness” they’re just as ready to screw over filmmakers as any other studio is. Ed Sanchez, one half of the team behind the original Blair Witch, finally returns with this tale of friends who seek to enact revenge on the alien captors who took one of their own 15 years previous. They manage to capture one of the aliens and dish out some payback, but that’s a door that swings both ways. Check our DVD review for more! Buy it here!

Click to see it bigger!Cannibal (2006)
Directed by Marian Dora

Based on the true story of a German man who put up an ad online looking for someone to eat and actually got a willing donor, Cannibal is about as dull a cannibal movie as you can ask for. In the first third there are a lot of close-ups of faces and lips, the second there’s a lot of man love, and the third is just a long, drawn out gutting of a human body. Yeah, it gets extreme, but it’s shot and edited in such a way as to make the whole package rather dull. Check out my DVD review for more. Buy it here!

Click to see it bigger!Hideshi Hino’s Theater of Horror
Directed by Various

Now that’s what I’m talking about; six full-length films based on the works of Hideshi Hino, one of Japan’s most influential manga creators. His rainbow-colored, flesh filled imaginings have haunted the small island for decades, making many a film director desire to adapt his work to moving picture. Included in this set are Lizard Baby, Death Train, Ravaged House: Zoroku’s Disease, The Boy From Hell, Dead Girl Walking, and Occult Detective Club: Doll Cemetery! Buy it here!

Click to see it bigger!Long Distance (2005)
Directed by Marcus Stern

Now this movie should teach you, if nothing else, to always double check the number you’re calling before you dial. A lonely young woman doesn’t bother with this and accidentally dials a phone number wrong by one digit, catching a serial killer in the middle of a serial killing. He latches onto her voice and begins to call her every time he kills, moving closer and closer to her Boston home. Why couldn’t it have been a telemarketer, damnit? Buy it here!

Click to see it bigger!Nezulla the Rat Monster (2002)
Directed by Kanta Tagawa

I wish you guys had any idea the amount of work and time that goes into these lists each week; inevitably I come across a title with either artwork, year of production, or director information that is nowhere to be found and sometimes hours worth of searching ensues. And you know who is usually to blame? Media Blasters. Why can’t they just keep their site up-to-date? Anyway, this film is about a giant rat/human hybrid that is the result of a scientific experiment gone very wrong. Terror ensues. Buy it here!

Click to see it bigger!Spirit Trap (2005)
Directed by David Smith

So this is what Billie Piper is doing after her time traveling the universe with Dr. Who? Wow, how noble of her. I tried to make sense of the synopsis I found on IMDB, but it seems like it was translated badly from another language. The film has something to do with students who are offered lodging in an old house. One of them is psychic and a spirit clock is fixed which causes people to die but the psychic sees it first and they all confess to having killed someone before and now they can’t get out. Yeah, that’s about how much sense it made to me, too. Buy it here!

Click to see it bigger!The Wicker Man (1973)
Directed by Robin Hardy

Just to make sure ignorant consumers are nice and confused, Anchor Bay decided to re-release this 2-disc Wicker Man the same day as the 2006 version starring Nicolas Cage hits DVD. I’m sure most buyers will be able to tell the difference, but I bet they’re banking on more than one misinformed sale. Features on this edition include new commentary by Hardy on the extended version of the film along with Chris Lee, Ed Woodward, and Mark Kermode. Check out our DVD review for more! Buy it here!

Click to see it bigger!The Wicker Man (2006)
Directed by Neil LaBute

I’ve heard some really terrible thing said about this new version of Robin Hardy’s underrated classic, but I’ve also heard people saying it was better than it had any right to be. I guess it’s all about perception with films like this, the original such a hit-or-miss with fans in general. Nic Cage stars as a traumatized cop who travels to an island ruled by women in search of a young girl who reminds him a bit too much of a girl he saw die years before. A big man made of wicker comes into play, in case the title didn’t give you any hints. Buy it here!

Click to see it bigger!Zombie Nation (2005)
Directed by Uli Lomel

Where the hell did Uli Lommel come from again all of a sudden? Years of silence and then out of nowhere he’s got a slew of new movies coming out left and right. Must’ve found some source of funding. The fact that they’re direct-to-DVD releases from Lionsgate does not bode well for their quality, however, but then neither does the fact that they’re directed by Uli Lommel. The story is about some voodoo priestesses who resurrect the dead to take down a serial killing cop. Buy it here!

Johnny Butane

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Jon Condit

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