Nature Run Amok
I've long had a theory that either someone at Syfy or enterprising producers that make movies for Syfy keep tabs on the various cable cryptozoology programs like "MonsterQuest" looking for ideas for future Syfy creature features. The news that Mongolian Death Worms will be premiering on Syfy next year pretty much confirms my suspicions.
Director Russell Mulcahy is back with a new film on the horizon that promises to be full of bite. Shark bite, that is. All toothy and such, and in -- are you ready? -- 3D! Because you know, no one is making 3D movies anymore so this should be a nice change of pace!
Roger Corman helped unleash Dinocroc (review here) in 2004. Then he let loose Supergator (review here) in 2007. In 2010 these rampaging reptiles will collide in an epic smackdown of Syfy proportions: Dinocroc vs. Supergator!
I'm no fan of Roland Emmerich. With that said, his upcoming be-all, end-all disaster epic 2012 (opening November 12th) is currently tops on my list of most anticipated movies of the latter half of this year. Every trailer hypes 2012 as this terrifying end-of-the-world disaster thriller playing off real-life fears of what may lie ahead for us all in 2012, and then you watch this clip from the film and I defy you not to laugh.
Sharks are probably one of the scariest creatures on the planet. There's just no reasoning with them. You're not a person in their cold black eyes. You, just like everything else in their way, are simply lunch. Hell, depending on your size, maybe even just a snack! It's that very justified fear of these creatures that the filmmakers behind The Reef hope to tap into.
Just when you thought you'd seen everything comes the trailer for Creep Creepersin's latest film .... Vaginal Holocaust. Strap in, folks, and just try to ignore that nasty burning sensation that can lead to chafing and eventually doomsday!
Senators Sam Brownback of Kansas and Mary Landrieu of Louisiana co-sponsored the Human-Animal Hybrid Prohibition Act of 2009 this past July that, if passed, will make illegal genetic experiments creating new species from animal and human DNA. Don't be surprised if one of them screens the new film Lizard Boy on the Senate floor. It's their worst nightmare: a scientist mixes human and lizard DNA, the lizard boy grows up and goes on a rampage, and - worst of all - it has a black belt in lizard tail fu.
While we all are eagerly anticipating the end of the world in 2012, we can start dying vicariously through this new Japanese trailer for disaster-king (this looks good, but we're not ready yet to forgive you for what you did to Godzilla) Roland Emmerich.
Today, August 26, 2009, is the day that I write about what will no doubt be the pinnacle of 21st century nature gone amok filmmaking. Here I thought the flying piranhas of James Cameron's Piranha 2: The Spawning were the zenith of what could be done with piranha hybrids. I was wrong. For what creature is more vicious than a piranha? A Chihuahua, obviously. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Chihuanhas are coming!
Movies about killer dogs are nothing new. Movies about killer inbreds are nothing new either. But one and the same? The new low budget chiller Dog takes the chocolate of dogs and the peanut butter of inbreds and puts them together in one gruesomely delicious cup.
Reviewed by The Foywonder Starring Peta Wilson, Evert McQueen, Chelan Simmons, Sonya Salomaa, Remi Broadway, Mungo McKay Directed by Davis Lister
Remember when bird flu was going to kill us all? How'd that work out for ya? Now it's swine flu, but don't tell that to b-movie makers because death by pig is a bit harder to take seriously than death by bird for some reason. Birdemic does not feature a virus, unless the American Medical Association has officially declared Alfred Hitchcock Rip-off Syndrome a legitimate disorder.
Since I live a life of (mostly) full disclosure, let me tell you a couple of things about your old Uncle Creepy. I have three irrational fears -- heights, nuns (they friggin' float, man), and bugs. Of those three insects make my skin crawl like you would not believe, which is why I'm both dreading and looking forward to Orphan scribe David Leslie Johnson's latest project.
Reviewed by Evil Andy Starring Diane Gaeta, Deborah Geffner, VJ Kewl, Chris Marquette, Bru Muller, Ray Wise Directed Kyle Rankin