Legend of Hercules, The (2014)
Foywonder
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Starring Kellan Lutz, Scott Adkins’ beard, Liam Garrigan, Gaia Weiss, Roxanne McKee, and the credits swear Jonathan Schaech was in this calamity somewhere though I never recognized him
Directed by Renny Harlin
In the epic origin story THE LEGEND OF HERCULES, Kellan Lutz stars as the mythical Greek hero – the son of Zeus, a half-god, half-man blessed with extraordinary strength. Betrayed by his stepfather, the King, and exiled and sold into slavery because of a forbidden love, Hercules must use his formidable powers to fight his way back to his rightful kingdom. Through harrowing battles and gladiator-arena death matches, Hercules embarks on a legendary odyssey to overthrow the King and restore peace to the land.
The Asylum had absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with the making of The Legend of Hercules 3D, but I still feel compelled to congratulate them on it being their best mockbuster yet.
The Legend of Hercules 3D currently has only one positive review on Rotten Tomatoes, deservedly. Yet, here I am prepared to give it a second positive review for being the best comedy of 2014 thus far. I wish I laughed this hard during Anchorman 2. “Twinkules” (as some online have dubbed it just because the lead actor looks like he should be modeling in an Abercrombie & Zeus catalogue) became one of those special films that so astounded me I was motivated to bust out my trusty voice recorder on the drive home from the theater to give my immediate raw thoughts while the delirium was still fresh in my punch drunk mind. Forgive any background noise you may hear; this is a road report.
So, unless you want the wrath of Zeus to come upon you, BOOOOOOOOOOOY!!!!, I suggest you listen to me try to maintain my composure as I to explain why The Legend of Hercules 3D reduced me to a giggling goofball.
2 1/2 out of 5
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