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| Forums Index -> The Terror Tube -> The Bionic Woman |
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 Posted:
Sun May 20, 2007 10:19 pm
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Joined: 20 Jun 2006
Posts: 1341
Location: Hell, GA
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| Posted:
Tue May 22, 2007 12:41 pm
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Joined: 21 Jun 2006
Posts: 8052
Location: Bronx, New York
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I'll give this remake a chance.
Looks okay.
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| Posted:
Fri May 25, 2007 3:35 am
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Joined: 22 Jun 2006
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Location: Beantown
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| ehhhh unsure since I really never got into the old one..I loved Six Million Dollar man but for some reason never got into the Bionic Woman....and then the bionic dog...I was like come on now.... maybe it will be better like BattleStar Galactica...unsure on this one |
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| Posted:
Thu Aug 16, 2007 7:05 am
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Joined: 21 Jun 2006
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Location: Hollywood
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So I watched the pilot for this last night and found it to be complete crap. There's zero characterization for the leads. Michelle Ryan is little more than a block of wood as Jamie Summers, while Katee Sackhoff pouts and quips through her trite role as the series' primary villain. Even the great Miguel Ferrer is wasted. The "bionics" aren't really bionic at all -- it's just more lame nonsense about injecting Jamie with nanite machines that regrow her arm, legs and eye and make her stronger. Amazingly, when Jamie discovers that she's superfast and superstrong, she just gets depressed and sad -- you'd think she's be happy not only to have her appendages back but to have them give her super powers. Seriously, if you discovered that you could run faster than a bullet train, leap sixty foot chasms without trying, crush steel with your hands and almost immediately heal from any wound, wouldn't you be the least bit stoked?
The entire thing is just a muddled mess filled with every cliche imaginable, even down to Jamie running at Mach speed near a roadside and being spied by a little girl out a car window who then tells her mother what she just saw only to be dismissed. And the climax is a shitty bionic showdown on a rainy rooftop done with awful shaky cam.
Lame. It's a third-rate BUFFY without the tight plotting and witty humor. I give it ten episodes, max.
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Last edited by Messiahman on Thu Aug 16, 2007 7:31 am; edited 2 times in total |
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| Posted:
Thu Aug 16, 2007 7:24 am
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Joined: 21 Jun 2006
Posts: 8052
Location: Bronx, New York
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It's a shame.
I'll keep an open mind once the pilot rolls around, but it seems like a show in hopes of striking the "Heroes" oil.
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"We are bad guys. That means we've got more to do other than bullying companies. It's fun to lead a bad man's life." |
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| Posted:
Thu Sep 27, 2007 1:41 am
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Joined: 21 Jun 2006
Posts: 8052
Location: Bronx, New York
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Pretty crummy so far.
And so filled with cliches.
- Embittered woman raising a younger person.
- Clandestine government organization.
- life changing event
- Discovery of her powers gradually
- The cliche powers experiment with a dumbfounded witness ad comedy.
- The experimentation of powers by jumping from roof to roof. Thanks a lot Spider Man.
- The antithesis and leader of the story arc introduced here. She's blond as opposed to brunette, how original.
- Beating a thug in a dark alleyway demonstrating the powers of this independent woman.
Yaaaaaaaaaawn!
Seems like a typical superhero mess. Most of what's here happened on Painkiller Jane, and that show was crap, too.
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"We are bad guys. That means we've got more to do other than bullying companies. It's fun to lead a bad man's life." |
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| Posted:
Thu Sep 27, 2007 10:47 am
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Dread Central Staff
Joined: 20 Jun 2006
Posts: 2501
Location: In the dark...
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| Messiahman wrote: | So I watched the pilot for this last night and found it to be complete crap. There's zero characterization for the leads. Michelle Ryan is little more than a block of wood as Jamie Summers, while Katee Sackhoff pouts and quips through her trite role as the series' primary villain. Even the great Miguel Ferrer is wasted. The "bionics" aren't really bionic at all -- it's just more lame nonsense about injecting Jamie with nanite machines that regrow her arm, legs and eye and make her stronger. Amazingly, when Jamie discovers that she's superfast and superstrong, she just gets depressed and sad -- you'd think she's be happy not only to have her appendages back but to have them give her super powers. Seriously, if you discovered that you could run faster than a bullet train, leap sixty foot chasms without trying, crush steel with your hands and almost immediately heal from any wound, wouldn't you be the least bit stoked?
The entire thing is just a muddled mess filled with every cliche imaginable, even down to Jamie running at Mach speed near a roadside and being spied by a little girl out a car window who then tells her mother what she just saw only to be dismissed. And the climax is a shitty bionic showdown on a rainy rooftop done with awful shaky cam.
Lame. It's a third-rate BUFFY without the tight plotting and witty humor. I give it ten episodes, max. |
That sums it up pretty perfectly. My husband and I watched this last night, and I spent most of the time amusing him with "Jamie's" inner monologue...
"Oh, boo hoo.... my wonderful, smart and good-looking boyfriend saved my life and made me super strong and fast, and nearly indestructible... but now the secret governement agency that invented the technology wants me to work for them.... AND I have to raise a bratty little sister! What's a girl to do??"  Bleh.
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| Posted:
Fri Sep 28, 2007 12:01 am
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Dread Central Staff
Joined: 21 Jun 2006
Posts: 1895
Location: Biloxi, MS
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I've already redubbed this show "The Bionic Alias"
That's pretty much what they've done; reinvent the Bionic Woman as a combination of "Alias" and "Now and Again"
That conversation the two bionic women had on the rooftop amid the rain was so howlingly cornball it was mind-blowing someone got paid to write that drivel.
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| Posted:
Sat Oct 06, 2007 10:43 pm
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Joined: 20 Jun 2006
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Location: DON'T TOUCH MY BAGS IF YOU PLEASE. MR. CUSTOMS MAN!
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| Foywonder wrote: | | I've already redubbed this show "The Bionic Alias". |
Exactly what I was thinking.
And while Michelle Ryan is hot, Lindsey Wagner has her beat by a mile.
Seriously, what kind of woman goes to the funeral of her fiancee, then drunkenly takes a complete stranger into the bathroom to make out within 15 minutes of the show?
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| Posted:
Sat Oct 06, 2007 11:10 pm
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Dread Central Staff
Joined: 21 Jun 2006
Posts: 1895
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| Posted:
Sun Oct 07, 2007 2:20 pm
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Dread Central Staff
Joined: 20 Jun 2006
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| Chainsaw wrote: |
And while Michelle Ryan is hot, Lindsey Wagner has her beat by a mile.
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Amen.
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"I will show you fear in a handful of dust." - T.S. Eliot
"Death, without dread of death, is welcome death." - Seneca
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| Posted:
Wed Oct 10, 2007 11:31 am
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Joined: 20 Jun 2006
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Location: DON'T TOUCH MY BAGS IF YOU PLEASE. MR. CUSTOMS MAN!
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| Horror Chic wrote: | | Chainsaw wrote: |
And while Michelle Ryan is hot, Lindsey Wagner has her beat by a mile.
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Amen. |
Well, I biased, because I had a huge crush on Jamie Summers as a kid.
I even had a Bionic Woman lunchbox as a kid.
| Foywonder wrote: | | Chainsaw wrote: | | Seriously, what kind of woman goes to the funeral of her fiancee, then drunkenly takes a complete stranger into the bathroom to make out within 15 minutes of the show? |
A poorly written one. |
Exactly. Wasn't the creator of the show replaced after they shot the pilot? Or was it just the writer? |
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| Posted:
Wed Oct 10, 2007 11:46 am
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Dread Central Staff
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Location: In the dark...
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| Chainsaw wrote: | | Horror Chic wrote: | | Chainsaw wrote: |
And while Michelle Ryan is hot, Lindsey Wagner has her beat by a mile.
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Amen. |
Well, I biased, because I had a huge crush on Jamie Summers as a kid.
I even had a Bionic Woman lunchbox as a kid. |
That's not bias.... That's called "taste". 
I was a huge Bionic Woman fan as a kid. Used to watch it all the time with my mom. This incarnation SUCKS.
Hell, they should have gotten Lindsey Wagner and just had her do it again.... she's not busy, unless you count those Sleep Number Bed commercials.
_________________
"I will show you fear in a handful of dust." - T.S. Eliot
"Death, without dread of death, is welcome death." - Seneca
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| Posted:
Wed Oct 10, 2007 6:24 pm
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Joined: 21 Jun 2006
Posts: 3019
Location: Hollywood
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| Chainsaw wrote: | | Exactly. Wasn't the creator of the show replaced after they shot the pilot? Or was it just the writer? |
Actually, the guy who left the show was Glen Morgan, the only guy with real talent working on this thing. He was the showrunner, not the creator, and he had nothing to do with the pilot, which was written by the abysmal Laeta Kalogridis. Morgan is responsible for many of the greatest X-FILES episodes ever, including "Home." He was trying to clean up the mess laid by the producers, and it just didn't work out. What you're seeing now is all the horrendously rewritten stuff that occurred after he left.
If anything, blame producer David Eick for the debacle you're seeing now.
_________________
"According to witnesses, testimony and evidence...this massacre was the work of ninjas!" |
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| Posted:
Sun Oct 14, 2007 2:18 pm
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Joined: 20 Jun 2006
Posts: 2683
Location: Savannah, Georgia
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| Messiahman wrote: | | Chainsaw wrote: | | Exactly. Wasn't the creator of the show replaced after they shot the pilot? Or was it just the writer? |
Actually, the guy who left the show was Glen Morgan, the only guy with real talent working on this thing. He was the showrunner, not the creator, and he had nothing to do with the pilot, which was written by the abysmal Laeta Kalogridis. Morgan is responsible for many of the greatest X-FILES episodes ever, including "Home." He was trying to clean up the mess laid by the producers, and it just didn't work out. What you're seeing now is all the horrendously rewritten stuff that occurred after he left.
If anything, blame producer David Eick for the debacle you're seeing now. |
Isn't Jason Smilovic the showrunner now? I loved Kidnapped for the five minutes it was on NBC last fall.
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