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| Forums Index -> The Shiver Shack -> Open Water 2: Aquatic Boogaloo |
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 Posted:
Sun Feb 11, 2007 7:27 am
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Dread Central Staff
Joined: 20 Jun 2006
Posts: 4003
Location: Hollyweird
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I'm no fan of the original, so to say that this was no better or worse doesn't mean a whole lot.
I'll ignore all the Lifetime level melodrama. I'll even ignore the basic worthlessness of the characters (what kind of husband forces his water-phobic wife into the ocean? "Isn't this funny, dear? Hur-hur- oh shit! You're catatonic!")
But what I can't ignore is...
*SPOILERS*
People keep jumping up to grab the edge of the boat and narrowly miss it each time. So it never occurs to all SIX PEOPLE in the water to maybe give one of them a boost?
One girl gets fed up and makes a desperate attempt to swim back to land. Everyone knows she's not gonna make it. Unless of course she had a life jacket - like the one our lead girl happens to be wearing!
Half way through the movie, a guy tries to use a knife to dig into the boat, which was the most obvious salution from the start. But everyone panics and it backfires. To add insult to injury, the people who freaked out about it use the very same method to save their skin when everyone else is dead.
The mere fact that people drown in a matter of hours when there are spots on the boat to hang onto.
*END SPOILERS*
The scenarios behind this, um, franchise are indeed disturbing. So why can't they get it right? |
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| Posted:
Sun Feb 11, 2007 10:21 am
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Joined: 12 Jan 2007
Posts: 769
Location: Nagoya Diamond Cutter: Feel The BANG
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| It's time for someone at Lion's Gate to dust of the dubious "CRUEL JAWS" and rechristen it, "OPEN WATER 3: KILLER FISHEE." Since they're into slapping marektable names on unmarketable crap, they can rechristen CRUEL JAWS' co-star, Richard Dew as "Richard Hogan," since he's a dead-ringer (facially) for Hulk Hogan (whom I believe he impersonates, professionally: how fucking sad is that? I bet he bought a copy of OPEN WATER 2 with some of those earnings). |
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Wed Feb 14, 2007 4:11 am
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Joined: 29 Aug 2006
Posts: 701
Location: Australia
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Sounds like complete poo. Though your alternative title has merit, Sirand.
_________________
I'll keep digging ... 'til I feel something here |
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Wed Feb 14, 2007 4:38 am
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Joined: 27 Jun 2006
Posts: 932
Location: Gizmonic Institute
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I hope Turbo is in this one.
There's nothing more exciting than watching breakdancers floating in the ocean for 2 hours before getting chomped down by some hungry sharks.
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Kiddcapone - "Breaking the 4th wall since 1974" |
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Wed Feb 14, 2007 5:01 am
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Pop Culture Icon
Joined: 20 Jun 2006
Posts: 2360
Location: Motel 6 Feet Under
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The review is now LIVE.
My head with pain. |
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| Posted:
Wed Feb 14, 2007 8:51 pm
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Dread Central Staff
Joined: 20 Jun 2006
Posts: 1966
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Thu Feb 15, 2007 4:40 am
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Pop Culture Icon
Joined: 20 Jun 2006
Posts: 2360
Location: Motel 6 Feet Under
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Yep.
As I explained, the film is technically proficient and does manage to be quite engaging every now and again.
Let's not forget, a 3 rating is just slightly above average. |
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| Posted:
Thu Feb 15, 2007 4:52 am
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Joined: 20 Jun 2006
Posts: 4360
Location: NYC baby!
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| So there are no sharks? As lame as that sounds, that was actually the hook for the first film for me. |
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Thu Feb 15, 2007 3:45 pm
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Joined: 22 Jun 2006
Posts: 223
Location: Here, wherever that is!
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Wasn't too impressed with the first one and had little hope for an in-name-only sequel. Now this sounds just mind-numbingly stupid... 
_________________
Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. |
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| Posted:
Thu Feb 15, 2007 3:54 pm
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Pop Culture Icon
Joined: 20 Jun 2006
Posts: 2360
Location: Motel 6 Feet Under
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| Didn't See It Coming wrote: | | So there are no sharks? As lame as that sounds, that was actually the hook for the first film for me. |
There's not even a stray guppie.
Still if you can wade through all of the stupidity I outlined, there's a pretty OK movie to be found. |
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| Posted:
Fri Feb 16, 2007 5:32 am
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Joined: 12 Jan 2007
Posts: 769
Location: Nagoya Diamond Cutter: Feel The BANG
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| Screamz wrote: | | Wasn't too impressed with the first one and had little hope for an in-name-only sequel. Now this sounds just mind-numbingly stupid... |
This seems like a masterpiece compared to CRUEL JAWS.
I don't think CJ even received a commercial release on video, in the U. S. In 1999 I came across a (barely) previously viewed VHS of it at a shop near Akihabara in Tokyo.
If you haven't seen it, trust me: CRUEL JAWS is pretty much the bottom of the killer shark barrell. |
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| Posted:
Wed Feb 21, 2007 1:04 pm
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Joined: 21 Jun 2006
Posts: 736
Location: bogs of Wv, sneaking among the critters and other things
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*prefers the first one over this one.*
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Weve lost control: kill everyone (28 weeks later) |
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| Posted:
Wed Feb 21, 2007 9:31 pm
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Joined: 06 Jul 2006
Posts: 878
Location: Midian
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No Blanchard Ryan nude scene? 
That was the only reason I bought the 1st one on DVD. |
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