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Forums Index -> Out of Genre Experience -> Holy shit Return of the Jedi sucks
The Buz
PostPosted: Mon Sep 25, 2006 5:39 am  Reply with quote
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Joined: 25 Jun 2006
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I've been revisiting all the star wars after getting the new unaltered dvds and I literally have not been able to sit all the way through Jedi yet. I got through the entire beginning, which I do enjoy...but after that it just goes straight down the shitter. The direction is so god awful its mind boggling. Star Wars has always had stupid "cute" lines..but usually they are done in a way where it works. Here it just is fucking stupid.

Luke: Just be careful!

Han: Hey! It's me (shit eating grin)

This is a doable line no doubt..but the way it's shot and the way Han says it is cringe inducing.

And who fucking thought it was a good idea for C3PO to tell the whole saga with shitty sound effects in the ewok language? Is this supposed to insipre some sort of nostalgia in us? I mean, I guess so right? When I think of star wars nostalgia I always think in terms of ewok sputters.

It's no wonder alot of people think star wars is stupid. They watch this wretched piece of shit first because for some reason it's the most famous, and see all the anal rampage inducing puppet masters and then they paint the town fuck with bad reviews. To top all this off, Han and Leia become full blown pussies, Luke starts using dark force powers, Chewys bangs are fucking annoying looking, and VADERS HELMET IS FUCKING DUSTY. Was it really so fucking hard to polish the fuckers head before shooting began? Oh and not to mention the biggest baddest blackest voice in the galaxy turns out to be a fucking pasty fat white dude. Let us not forget Landos retarded clapping to an otherwise even more retarded ewok celebration scene.

You know, I knew this piece of shit was doomed when they had characters who thought C3PO, quite possibly the most retarded and annoying character to face the silver screen since Franklin of TCM, was a god.

Oh and OOHHHHHHHHHHHHH, they're flying through the woods really fast on these hovering bikes. That's so cool for a a minute or two....but jesus titty fucking christ does the speeder chase scenes really need to last that long? Especially with the same exact green screen shot over and over again.

Have I mentioned Chewbacca's tarzan yell? Cock stain.

Yeah the space battle is cool, and the emperor demands your full attention...but that just isn't enough to save this pile.

I hate Star Wars, Return of the Jedi.
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Sirand
PostPosted: Mon Sep 25, 2006 6:24 am  Reply with quote
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Jedi gets a bum-wrap. People act like it's the Phantom Menace or something.

Are there problems? Yea. But I'll be damned if this film isn't loaded with so many classic moments. All the Jabba and Luke/Vader scenes are some of the best stuff in the entire series.
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Kryten Syxx
PostPosted: Mon Sep 25, 2006 12:25 pm  Reply with quote



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Though Jedi has many shortcomings it's nowhere near as bad as Episodes I thru III.

At least the acting in Jedi was fun and you could still enjoy the characters. It never made me groan like the new ones did. Anakin, the emo Jedi.
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thedudeabides
PostPosted: Mon Sep 25, 2006 1:48 pm  Reply with quote
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I feel the same way about Star Wars, Empire and Jedi, but that's just me.
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The Buz
PostPosted: Mon Sep 25, 2006 2:56 pm  Reply with quote
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Kryten Syxx wrote:
Though Jedi has many shortcomings it's nowhere near as bad as Episodes I thru III.

At least the acting in Jedi was fun and you could still enjoy the characters. It never made me groan like the new ones did. Anakin, the emo Jedi.


I don't know man...everything in the forest makes me cringe.

And the jabba stuff is indeed good, till fucking Boba gets knocked into the sarlac pit.

And as I've said before, the vader/luke stuff is good...but fucking vader's helmet is dusty and it bugs the fucking shit out of me. It brings down the entire scene. The luke/vader fight in Empire is where it's at.


And I'd say I enjoyed watching Ep 3 far more than this piece of shit. Hell..its on the same level as Phantom shit stain.
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The Buz
PostPosted: Mon Sep 25, 2006 2:58 pm  Reply with quote
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thedudeabides wrote:
I feel the same way about Star Wars, Empire and Jedi, but that's just me.
'

Forrr shame! Thrill me!
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Kryten Syxx
PostPosted: Mon Sep 25, 2006 3:10 pm  Reply with quote



Joined: 20 Jun 2006
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There are three things to watch in Jedi: battle over the pit of carcoon, the new death star battle and Vader vs Luke. Everything else can be scanned over.

As far as Episode III goes ... dear god that was bad. The Jedi seemed like bickering ninnies. Anakin just gave up for no real reason to be a Sith. The whole "I have the high ground" thing made no sense since Vader could have just jumped over a little further down. Do I even have to mention the dialog or how it was delivered?

I just could not make a connection to anyone in the new trilogy. I never got the same sense of fun and adventure. Lucas should have handed the director hat off to someone else, it worked so well for Empire.
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Sirand
PostPosted: Mon Sep 25, 2006 3:27 pm  Reply with quote
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Sith was an amazing film...and I like it more than Jedi. I think any negativity towards it was just carried over from people who disliked the first two.
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Kryten Syxx
PostPosted: Mon Sep 25, 2006 4:03 pm  Reply with quote



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Sirand wrote:
Sith was an amazing film...and I like it more than Jedi. I think any negativity towards it was just carried over from people who disliked the first two.


Not me nor my girlfriend who groaned more than I did at the dialog. She had never seen the other two films prior.
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Dario Fulci
PostPosted: Mon Sep 25, 2006 4:59 pm  Reply with quote



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Jedi is my least all time favorite Star Wars movie. I think that Lucas was really stressed out when he wrote the script and just wanted to get it finished.
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Screamz
PostPosted: Mon Sep 25, 2006 5:21 pm  Reply with quote



Joined: 22 Jun 2006
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I rather like Jedi. Sure, it's not as good as episodes IV and V, but certainly much better than I and II. And I gotta say that ep. III was just amazing. It made me think where that George Lucas was when he did I and II... Smile
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Kryten Syxx
PostPosted: Mon Sep 25, 2006 5:37 pm  Reply with quote



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I am surprised that people think III was so different than I and II. When I watched Sith I saw the exact same lack of focus, story telling and logic that came before in the new trilogy. While it was a pretty movie CGI wise that didn't make up for the end result that seemed thrown together. It felt more like a giant toy commercial than a film.
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Bone Daddy
PostPosted: Mon Sep 25, 2006 7:30 pm  Reply with quote



Joined: 28 Aug 2006
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Jedi is the weakest link in the original trilogy. When I was like 15, it rocked, but as I got older. Yikes. It has not aged well. However, I'd rather sit through Jedi than Eps I-III.
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Sirand
PostPosted: Mon Sep 25, 2006 8:36 pm  Reply with quote
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Sith was a world of difference from the first two prequels. There's a reason why even the prequel detractors liked it.

Lucas re-captured that sense of fun and excitement and the actors are a bit more believable in their roles. The themes and character dynamics worked well, while the story perfectly compliments the original trilogy. Even the CGI seems much more fluid, opening up the visuals to a grand scale that you never received from the first two films.

The first two prequels felt forced, while Sith felt like a natural SW movie. I'd say it's the most involving and emotional installment next to Empire.
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Kryten Syxx
PostPosted: Mon Sep 25, 2006 8:43 pm  Reply with quote



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I'll remember that next time I watch Franken-Vader and the NoOoOoOoO or the "love has blinded you" scene.
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