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Forums Index -> Best-cellars -> Desperately in need of a Beta reader . . .
Elf
PostPosted: Thu Aug 31, 2006 12:50 am  Reply with quote



Joined: 21 Jun 2006
Posts: 261

As the subject says, I desperately need a beta reader. I've had this novel finished for over a year but I cannot get anyone to help proof read it for me. I've even offered cash, but everyone seems to drop out due to personal reasons or whatever.

The novel is a horror/dark fantasy novel sort of in the vein of Laurell K. Hamiltion or Jim Butcher. It has necromancers, vampires, Japanese shinto sorceresses, the Fey, and the main character is a dhampire detective who has been elected to be part of a Supernatural Protection Force. The fellow members of the SPF are a half faerie, half incubus noble, a wolf prince, and their voice of reason, a Shinto sorcress. The story revolves around a vampire trying to create an army of vampires with gifts and turning gifted humans to do so.

So, if anyone's intrested, give me a line at slayerbrat@yahoo.com , and the first chapter is on my DeviantArt site as well http://umbraelf.deviantart.com/ and can be found here: http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/7190900/?qo=5&q=by%3Aumbraelf+sort%3Atime+-in%3Ascraps

There you go.

If anyone would like to help, it would be greatly appreciated!
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Terminal
PostPosted: Thu Aug 31, 2006 5:24 am  Reply with quote



Joined: 21 Jun 2006
Posts: 8052
Location: Bronx, New York

I could lend my two cents if you want.

Edit:
Not a bad read. The dialogue is tight and the descriptions are very well done. You don't get too specific but you're never vague, if that makes any sense. But the novel has a real "Been there Done That" atmosphere. Neo-noir, Dhampir, mother father dynamic, a sword, etc. It just feels like something that's not completely looking to set itself apart.

You should add something that can distinguish it from all the other vampire novels. Add your own twist. It's a very good read though.
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Elf
PostPosted: Sat Sep 02, 2006 12:54 am  Reply with quote



Joined: 21 Jun 2006
Posts: 261

Hee, thanks! I forgot that was the first draft of the first chapter.

I'm not quite good with introducing things. Perhaps if you'd like I could send you the rest of the novel?

Still, thanks for taking a look for me.
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Terminal
PostPosted: Sat Sep 02, 2006 1:12 am  Reply with quote



Joined: 21 Jun 2006
Posts: 8052
Location: Bronx, New York

Send it on over.

Free of Charge. Wink
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