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Forums Index -> Radio 666 -> Was writing lyrics today
arandomthought
PostPosted: Mon Nov 30, 2009 1:48 pm  Reply with quote



Joined: 27 Sep 2007
Posts: 1193
Location: MD

You guys might laugh and all, but I'm going to start posting my lyrics here. I'll edit the first post as long as it lets me so this doesn't keep getting bumped but I want to know what you guys think. I want advice, and CONSTRUCTIVE critiscism. If you guys think it sucks, tell me why. If you guys think I should stop, tell me why.

I know I jump around a lot, and I know I'm not talented compared to a lot of people out there, but I enjoy it and it's pretty much how I vent. Enjoy!

Either way, here's my first thing I'm posting here. It's short and I'm probably going to expand on it later(I'll update it when I do).

No name yet:

A crack in the wall
please don't let me fall
I had it all
then my dreams stalled out
I bawled, crawled out
saw the stains on my hands
tears from my eyes, blood
and man it ran
it ran day in and day out
my mind was leaked out
through breaths my mouth breathes out
and I do doubt the life I've been given
have I been saved?
what life am I living?
I'm the living dead
what I would give just to get ahead
when all is done and said
I've worked through life
to climb to nothingness instead
what did all that effort mean
it was material
my spiritual
is looking down on me
so as my eyes bleed
I've succeeded in my choice
to go after greed
I have one question left
was it worth my soul to collect?


New lyrics, just a verse that came to me...it's absolutely random and I love it for that:

of what surrounds the bland grounds
of moral authority, corruption spreads through leaps and bounds
the creeps crowd, scream aloud
like they're waiting for the beat down

a drowned out pound of coke mixed with 40 ounces
of soap to be sold for 50 or more
at the line of the local family dollar store
a whore among whores scores
loads of drough, to be pulled away from the poor
swallowed into richness
followed by the sickness
a flu of blind pig-snippets
a click splits the barrier
a sound of scarrier
mental terror
drowning out the inferior
blend of fibers
livers and lifers
a demented mix of clits and vaginas
combined into the meat grinder
to create the finest
food sold to dick-miners
the bitch spits shit through liquid holes
produced by tech n9ne roles(click click)
seduced by trolls
under the bridge
I bet you didn't know
you are the billy goat

New joke song currently under way:

I got a Problem

I'm a crack addict
but I'm not addicted to crack
at least not that type
no, I just sit back
in my chair
on the internet
eyes jacked
in to the pictures
of the ladies
listening to tracks
video after video
hands in my pants as I fap
so I went from a crack addict
to a fap addict
yes the manic masterbator
chronic sperm creator
walking down the street
hand on my rocket in my pocket
subtle as I yell see ya later
any time any place
you know I'll find a way
come to think of it
I might just need to get laid
but it's hard to talk to girls
while your busy spitting jizz
you might hold on to a conversation
until you bite your lip
shake and convulse
shoot it on her tits
like I'm sorry ma'am
I just pictured you as you kiss
Akward
so you simply walk away
meh, tomorrows a new day
time to find new ways
to hide the way that you spray

I got a problem
please
somebody help me
my hands attached to my
damn
and I can't seem to get it off

so I'm sitting in my room
got a feeling of gloom
suddenly I'm superman
ready to bring the world dooom
hands in my, you know, I'm going as I zoom
across the sky
then suddenly I let loose
it shoots, cracks through the earth
moving through the layers
I whisper a curse
I chase after it
but it goes right through the earth
so I'm following it through planet after planet
earth is already destroyed
as venus and uranus
I felt so ashamed
I couldn't even save it
shit, I'm craving
it's back to masterbating
WOOSH
wake up in my bed
my rooms a sea of white
I guess after doing it so much
it's become my kryptonite
so I excel at expelling
it from myself
man I need a therapist
maybe that would help

I got a problem
please
somebody help me
my hands attached to my
damn
and I can't seem to get it off


And a more serious song:

Self Destruct

You ever feel like you fucked it all up
you ever feel you create good just to corrupt
I created this hell just let me self-combust
I feel this way, just let me self destruct

Life is swell, then I create this hell
I delve deeper like the fish on the pet store shelf
looking for someone to take me in, someone I can help
but then I'm trapped, I collapse in on myself
A part of me wonders why I want to die
a part of me wonders why I want to live
a part of me wonders why I ask why
but I know well enough I want to give
more then I can, more then I ever will
so I sit, and think "shit, maybe I need some medical pills
then I realize I can't pay the doctor bills
and it's such a thrill to sit still
waiting for my fucking heart to spill

You ever feel like you fucked it all up
you ever feel you create good just to corrupt
I created this hell just let me self-combust
I feel this way, just let me self destruct

A sadist slash masochist I let others hurt me too
I look around and wonder will the next be you?
I tend to cause change, sometimes drastic
I wonder when someone will panic, and get manic
to the point where I'll have to be half-plastic
I want to be rich, to help whoever I can
instead they help me, I'm like "fuck, I'm not yet a man"
I'm a bum, a kid, a child nothing more
yet I want to be the whore whose cds you buy in the record store

You ever feel like you fucked it all up
you ever feel you create good just to corrupt
I created this hell just let me self-combust
I feel this way, just let me self destruct

Sometimes I rush in too quick
waiting for a world of shit
I fell sick, so numb, am I the one that's full of shit?
does my mind not comprehend that people do care
that people don't want me to be stranded in nowhere
where is my breaking point when will I crack
when will I reach the point where there's no turning back
and what of memory's lost, of things I've tossed aside
when i will I pay the cost, when will I pay the price?
when will karma come back and bite me in the ass?
one last question, how much time will pass?
I already know in my gut that nothing will last
I've moved forward to fast
it's checkmate
and I don't even realize I've fucked myself in the ass...

You ever feel like you fucked it all up
you ever feel you create good just to corrupt
I created this hell just let me self-combust
I feel this way, just let me self destruct
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Tech N9ne K.O.D. has been playing in my head so I've been listening non-stop. Great songs, give it a try!


Last edited by arandomthought on Thu Dec 10, 2009 3:43 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Floydian Trip
PostPosted: Mon Nov 30, 2009 2:03 pm  Reply with quote



Joined: 10 Aug 2008
Posts: 6478

I like it. Break it up though.
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arandomthought
PostPosted: Mon Nov 30, 2009 2:24 pm  Reply with quote



Joined: 27 Sep 2007
Posts: 1193
Location: MD

What do you mean break it up?
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Floydian Trip
PostPosted: Mon Nov 30, 2009 2:27 pm  Reply with quote



Joined: 10 Aug 2008
Posts: 6478

Well, I'm no musician so I don't know technically what it's called but here's an example with my favorite lyrics ever written...

Dogs (Waters, Gilmour) 17:06

You gotta be crazy, you gotta have a real need.
You gotta sleep on your toes, and when you're on the street,
You gotta be able to pick out the easy meat with your eyes closed.
And then moving in silently, down wind and out of sight,
You gotta strike when the moment is right without thinking.

And after a while, you can work on points for style.
Like the club tie, and the firm handshake,
A certain look in the eye and an easy smile.
You have to be trusted by the people that you lie to,
So that when they turn their backs on you,
You'll get the chance to put the knife in.

You gotta keep one eye looking over your shoulder.
You know it's going to get harder, and harder, and harder as you
get older.
And in the end you'll pack up and fly down south,
Hide your head in the sand,
Just another sad old man,
All alone and dying of cancer.

And when you loose control, you'll reap the harvest you have sown.
And as the fear grows, the bad blood slows and turns to stone.
And it's too late to lose the weight you used to need to throw
around.
So have a good drown, as you go down, all alone,
Dragged down by the stone.

I gotta admit that I'm a little bit confused.
Sometimes it seems to me as if I'm just being used.
Gotta stay awake, gotta try and shake off this creeping malaise.
If I don't stand my own ground, how can I find my way out of this
maze?

Deaf, dumb, and blind, you just keep on pretending
That everyone's expendable and no-one has a real friend.
And it seems to you the thing to do would be to isolate the winner
And everything's done under the sun,
And you believe at heart, everyone's a killer.

Who was born in a house full of pain.
Who was trained not to spit in the fan.
Who was told what to do by the man.
Who was broken by trained personnel.
Who was fitted with collar and chain.
Who was given a pat on the back.
Who was breaking away from the pack.
Who was only a stranger at home.
Who was ground down in the end.
Who was found dead on the phone.
Who was dragged down by the stone.

Keep 'em coming though man! Very Happy
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arandomthought
PostPosted: Mon Nov 30, 2009 2:31 pm  Reply with quote



Joined: 27 Sep 2007
Posts: 1193
Location: MD

oh, I fragment the seperate verses, but I don't fragment a single verse and that's what that is.

I get what you mean.
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Floydian Trip
PostPosted: Mon Nov 30, 2009 2:37 pm  Reply with quote



Joined: 10 Aug 2008
Posts: 6478

arandomthought wrote:
oh, I fragment the seperate verses, but I don't fragment a single verse and that's what that is.

I get what you mean.


Wow, that's a single verse. Isn't the point of breaking up a song into verses so that you can fit music into it?

I know nothing of music. Wouldn't even attempt to write lyrics. Dick and DSIC are good at it though.
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arandomthought
PostPosted: Mon Nov 30, 2009 2:49 pm  Reply with quote



Joined: 27 Sep 2007
Posts: 1193
Location: MD

I rap, which is why you guys will probably laugh:mrgreen:

I've been writing lyrics since elementary school, never with any real reason, I just enjoy the styles, and I enjoy what goes into making a song. It hasn't been but the past 3-4 years I've been writing stuff that actually means anything to me.

Great lyrics btw, what song is that?

When I do it, I do everything myself. I would do other styles of music, but I don't have any experience with instruments(which I do want to learn to give more quality to my music). Here's a set of lyrics(from a couple years ago, march 13 2007) that is more for a rock/metal style song.

Falling Behind Me :

Consider me your messiah
Yes I can be your marter
For I am a son
Without a fucking father
You can use me
I am your sacrafice
I will Warm your heart
It's colder then ice
Betray me
After gaining my trust
Using me
To satisfy your lust
Confusing
It's hell or bust
Defeating
The humanity
This world
Thrives on insanity
There is a method to
This fucking chaos
but None to
this sayance
to bring
the lurking madness
To create
even more sadness
It's crazy
It makes no sense
We're lazy
The situation is tense
One small thing
Could ruin it all
And humanity
Will continue to fall

Falling behind me
I am a sign of life
Just a mear thought
Like the edge of a knife
Piercing
Into your mind
Join in
just fall behind
Me

Just fall behind me

Me

Just fall behind me

Drink of my blood
It tastes like wine
My skin is bread
It's a sign
that
WE'RE GODDAMN CANNIBALS

Falling behind me
I am a sign of life
Just a mear thought
Like the edge of a knife
Piercing
Into your mind
Join in
just fall behind
Me

Just fall behind me

Good and evil
such a thin line
Take it for yourself
Because none is mine
What you decide
Is what I am
A figment
Of your fucking
IMAGINATION
I am a subject
Changed by you
I will
Do what you want me to
Only if
You give me your life
So go ahead
Commit suicide

Falling behind me
I am a sign of life
Just a mear thought
Like the edge of a knife
Piercing
Into your mind
Join in
just fall behind
Me

Just fall behind me

Me

Just fall behind me

Taste my blood
It rolls down your lips
Take of me skin
And And come on in
To join
THE GODDAMN ANIMALS

Falling behind me
I am a sign of life
Just a mear thought
Like the edge of a knife
Piercing
Into your mind
Join in
just fall behind
Me

Just fall behind me
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Floydian Trip
PostPosted: Mon Nov 30, 2009 2:57 pm  Reply with quote



Joined: 10 Aug 2008
Posts: 6478

Ahh, rap. Now I see. Should have known. I'm new to rap. Like that one too.
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arandomthought
PostPosted: Mon Nov 30, 2009 5:59 pm  Reply with quote



Joined: 27 Sep 2007
Posts: 1193
Location: MD

Floydian Trip wrote:
Ahh, rap. Now I see. Should have known. I'm new to rap. Like that one too.


It's just not typical topics for rap, which is why it's hard for people right off the bat to assume it is. Either way, I try not to stick to one genre, but with all the listening of rap I've done it's hard not to get a style stuck in my head or a beat/instrumental stuck in my head.
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Floydian Trip
PostPosted: Mon Nov 30, 2009 8:07 pm  Reply with quote



Joined: 10 Aug 2008
Posts: 6478

So, what do you call the breaks in verses anhyway? Refrain or something or is that in music?

See, not to destroy your thread here but I was writing actual reviews of music on a magazine's website and they wanted me to write them for them but with my total lack of knwledge about music as far as playing I said hell no! Couldn't do it. Maybe I could have had a job which now that they told us they're laying off 25% of the workforce this week and here I am the only one who isn't a lawyer and yet could run circles around them. I'll be first to go.
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arandomthought
PostPosted: Sun Dec 06, 2009 6:53 pm  Reply with quote



Joined: 27 Sep 2007
Posts: 1193
Location: MD

Floydian Trip wrote:
So, what do you call the breaks in verses anhyway? Refrain or something or is that in music?

See, not to destroy your thread here but I was writing actual reviews of music on a magazine's website and they wanted me to write them for them but with my total lack of knwledge about music as far as playing I said hell no! Couldn't do it. Maybe I could have had a job which now that they told us they're laying off 25% of the workforce this week and here I am the only one who isn't a lawyer and yet could run circles around them. I'll be first to go.


I'm sure you'll survive. I don't know the first thing about music lingo, but I know what I like, and what sounds good to me so I do that. I haven't written anything this week due to trying to finish up a track.
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arandomthought
PostPosted: Thu Dec 10, 2009 3:43 pm  Reply with quote



Joined: 27 Sep 2007
Posts: 1193
Location: MD

New songs up.
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