Night of the Sorcerers, The (DVD)
Steve Barton
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Starring Simon Andreu, Kali Hansa, Maria Kosti, Jack Taylor, Barbara King
Directed by Amando De Ossorio
Distributed by Deimos Entertainment
Jungle boogie …
*horns blowing*
Jungle boogie …
Aw yeah, mama. You’re in my hut now. Welcome, my brothas and sistas, to the sleazy side of Spanish cinema. A side that proves that there’s always time for several sets of bouncing boobs before making with the red stuff.
Follow along with me if you can …
So back in the day a band of white colonial soldiers (or whatever they were) gunned down a pack of leopard worshipping African sorcerers mid-ceremony after they witness a white woman getting her head cut off during the drum heavy voodoo shenanigans. Fast forward to “the present” and we find a group of white scientists and photographers who decide to set up camp right next to where this massacre took place so that they can begin “documenting the extinctions of the rare species” in-between bouts of wet sex and fits of ill placed jealousy.
YAY!
Of course once night falls, strange shit starts happening like the dead sorcerers returning from the grave to celebrate the aforementioned beheaded white chick, who now happens to be a vampire who thinks she’s a leopard. I shit you not. One by one our female protagonists are captured, tied to trees, and sentenced to having their clothing whipped off(!) them before they are beheaded and made to join the ranks of the vampires with bestiality issues. Or something like that. Can anyone save the day? Or better yet — explain to me what the fuck is going on?!?
Honestly, I don’t really even give a shit. This flick was the most nonsensical fun I’ve had in years. Who needs plot when you have random beheadings, sex, zombies, vampires, and enough tits to quench even the most maniacal mammary madman’s thirst for random areolas? Best known for his incredible Blind Dead series, director, Amando De Ossorio has crafted for us one of the strangest, most absurd films I have ever seen. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying this movie is good by any stretch of the imagination. But I tell you what; sit down with your buds, a couple of sixers, and some other assorted party favors of the leafy variety, and I can guarantee that you will LOVE it!
You will however, not love the DVD’s extras as the pickings are slim. We get three things: a trailer, the alternate Spanish title sequences, and alternate clothed versions of the scenes in the flick that contain nudity. You have to wonder about priorities. Mind you this film was made way before Janet Jackson’s nipple blinded and outraged tight-asses the world over, and even then people would take far more issue with bare breasts than they would severed heads. Go figure.
So what if there’s an abundance or re-used scenes, stock footage of Africa, and a ton of horrid day-for-night filming? Who cares if the zombies look goofy and the vampires who prance around like cats are about as menacing and erotic as Hello Kitty cartoons? I had a great time with this shit! How could you not?!?
Sign me up for the next trip to Bumbasa please. I’ll bring a set of bongos and a sack of mushrooms. Who’s with me?
Special Features
3 1/2 out of 5
Special Features:
2 out of 5
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