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B-Sides

B-Sides: George Jefferson Has Ghost Fever

Sherman Hemsley decided after a decade starring as iconic loudmouth George Jefferson on “The Jeffersons” that it was time to take a shot at big screen superstardom. Not only did he star in and croon the theme song to the 1987 comedy Ghost Fever, he also funded the film out of his own pocket, eventually bankrupting him.

B-Sides: We Accept the Challenge of Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare

At long last! Jon Mikl Thor makes his first - and certainly not last - appearance in the B-Sides. If you’ve ever seen Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare, then you know what is coming. Prepare to have your ears blasted and your mind blown. Do you accept the challenge?

B-Sides: The Ballad of My Bloody Valentine

B-Sides is typically a weekend column, but I couldn’t let Valentine’s Day slide without presenting the greatest Valentine horror B-Sides of all. If you haven’t already guessed “The Ballad of Harry Warden” from the original My Bloody Valentine, then you more than anyone else need to read on.

B-Sides: Don’t Touch Tawny Kitaen's Heart

This Valentine’s weekend B-Sides video comes from a motion picture that dares ask the burning question: Would you be willing to die for a chance to have sex with Tawny Kitaen? Keep in mind we’re talking about 1986 Tawny Kitaen, the slithering on the hood of a car in a Whitesnake video Tawny Kitaen when she was at the peak of her Tawny-ness.

B-Sides: Most Explosive, Action-Packed B-Sides Ever!

Today’s B-Sides has it all: explosions, more explosions, gunfire, more gunfire, vehicles crashing through gates, helicopter escapes, children longing for their Rambo-esque father to come home, more explosions, more gunfire, and all of it is set to a rocking Eighties theme song that sounds like it could have been composed by a Krokus tribute band.

B-Sides: Green Slime Screaming 'Cross Your Mind

A trippy, late 1960’s rock song that blends acid rock with an Etherwave theremin has the potential to be awesome as is. Make that song about killer green slime from outer space, and you have one of the greatest B-Sides of all time. It’s Green Slime time!

B-Sides: Killer Klowns from Outer Space

Sometimes a great cheesy theme song is all it takes to elevate a b-movie to true cult status. When your movie is called Killer Klowns from Outer Space, cult status is already all but assured. Adding a rocking theme song by a classic punk band like The Dickies is just the cherry on top of a delicious b-movie sundae.

B-Sides: Jason Is a Man with No Life in His Eyes

B-Sides is arriving a little early this weekend because there’s no way I’m letting Friday the 13th pass without having a musical interlude in honor of Mr. Voorhees. The theme song to Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning may not have been written specifically for the film, but if ever there was a man with no life in his eyes, it’s Jason.

B-Sides: The Garbage Pail Kids Can Do Anything

Garbage Pail Kids: The Movie is so reprehensibly bad it’s the movie Troll 2 watches to feel better about itself. Garbage Pail Kids: The Movie is the kind of bad movie that’s so bad it gives bad movies a bad name. If you don’t believe me, then just try to sit through this musical number from the film.

B-Sides: The Most Rad B-Side Ever

This weekend’s B-Sides song makes me feel like I can accomplish something. What exactly, I’m not sure. But damnit, listening to “Break the Ice” from the motion picture Rad makes me want to do something, anything, and the power of John Farham’s stirring vocals makes me believe I can do it – whatever “it” is.

B-Sides: Die Hard with an Antichrist Superstar

Imagine a Die Hard scenario set aboard a passenger plane. Imagine if the John McClain of the movie was based on Marilyn Manson. Imagine if the terrorists were a Satanic cult trying to bring about hell on earth. If you’ve ever seen Turbulence 3: Heavy Metal, you weren’t imagining it.

B-Sides: They Call Him Bud the Chud

If you were to ask me to list the absolute worst movies I have ever subjected myself to and I failed to list Chud II: Bud the Chud near the top of that list, it is only because I’ve worked very hard to try to block the memory of that rancid film from my mind. And yet, here I am paying homage to the film’s corny theme song. Am I a masochist or what?

B-Sides: Rappin' With The Monster Squad

I don't want to say the rap song that plays during to closing credits of The Monster Squad is cheesy, but if it were any cheesier, listening to it would be considered hazardous to the health of people that suffer from lactose intolerance.

B-Sides: He's a Killing Machine and He Never Does the Dishes

If there’s one thing to be said while listening to a hilariously bad song like “Shock Dance”, it’s that they really don’t make movie soundtracks like they used to. Heck, even in 1989 they rarely made movie soundtracks quite like that of Wes Craven’s Shocker.

B-Sides: The Long Lost Reptilicus Song

Today’s B-Sides is a true rarity. I’m going to assume most of you monster movie fans out there are familiar with the 1961 giant serpent attacks Denmark movie Reptilicus. Were you aware the original Danish version of the film included a children’s musical number? If you weren’t, you’re about to get educated.