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B-Sides

B-Sides: Mothra’s Song Gets a 1990's J-Pop Makeover

If you’ve ever seen a movie featuring Mothra, then you know the song those two tiny twin fairies serenade their giant bug goddess with. When Toho resurrected her for 1992’s Godzilla vs. Mothra, they decided “Mothra’s Song” needed to get with the times with a peppy Japanese pop makeover.

B-Sides: Filmed in TerrorVision

Warning: If you listen to this B-Sides, it will be stuck in your head for the rest of the day. You will find yourself humming it. You will hear it in your sleep. It will echo around in your brain non-stop. You will experience TerrorVision.

B-Sides: The Day Will Come for the Class of 1999

How many of you are graduates of the class of 1999? Was your school also under martial law lockdown and your teachers actually military-grade cyborgs reprogrammed for academic professorships? Was “Come the Day” played at your graduation ceremony?

B-Sides: She's Certainly Got Big Guns

“Guns” is the theme song to a film of the same name about Playboy Playmates battling international terrorists. Cynthia Brimhall's measurements are listed as 36-25-36 so it is safe to say everything about this weekend's B-Sides is truly "B" except for her bra size.

B-Sides: Groovin’ with the Addams Family

I can’t think of a more fitting B-Sides to run on the weekend that sees the release of another big budget horror comedy based on a 1960’s half-hour program about a ghoulish family living in a Gothic manner than this weekend’s musical selection.

B-Sides: A Skunk Sings a Love Song to a Parrot

You are not drunk and you are not high. Well, maybe you are right now. Not like I’m peeping in your windows. What you are about to witness is not a chemical-induced hallucination. A skunk really does sing a love song to a parrot, and it's not a cartoon either.

B-Sides: Hands Off Jim Carrey, He Belongs to Me

Twenty years before Twilight there was another teen movie built around a love triangle involving a vampire and a non-vampire fighting over a naive virgin. It was called Once Bitten and starred a newcomer named Jim Carrey. Unlike Twilight it was a comedy on purpose.

B-Sides: Raiders of the Living Dead Are After Me

I must confess that I have never seen the movie Raiders of the Living Dead. I don’t recall even knowing such a movie existed until I stumbled upon the opening credits song by accident. One listen, and you’ll understand why I realized that song was an instant B-Sides.

B-Sides: Is There a Phantom in the Mall?

”Is there a phantom in the mall? Or just some retard in a broken hockey mask?" With lyrics like that there should be no doubt why The Vandals’ daffy Phantom of the Mall: Eric’s Revenge theme is one of the all-time great B-Sides.

B-Sides: If I Come in Peace, Will You Touch Me Tonight?

I don’t know what the hell Shooting Star’s “Touch Me Tonight” has to do with Dolph Lundgren fighting a drug dealer from outer space that fires killer CDs from its wrists, but since it plays over the closing credits of I Come in Peace and I Come in Peace is one of the all-time great b-movies...

B-Sides: Slaughter High Celebrates April Fool's Day

The working title for Slaughter High was April Fool’s Day. Too bad another slasher entitled April’s Fool’s Day was already on the way. Producers were forced to change their title to Slaughter High; yet, the thematic “April Fool’s Day” song remained. Thank goodness.

B-Sides: Zarkorr Invades! Earth Sings!

Earth is attacked by a giant space monster. Good aliens trying to save us from this city-smashing behemoth decide only the most average man on Earth can stop it. A holographic space girl two inches high appears in a postal worker’s kitchen to recruit him to save the human race. Thus begins the ballad of Zarkorr! The Invader.

B-Sides: Leprechaun Busts a Rhyme

Saturday is traditionally the day B-Sides is posted. This Saturday happens to be St. Patrick’s Day. A column showcasing b-movie music and a holiday celebrating all things Irish. You know what that means? Of course you know what that means. Yo, Warwick Davis, put on your Leprechaun gear and lay down some mad lyrics.

B-Sides: I Love the Barbarian

This weekend’s B-Sides is just plain strange. If you’ve ever seen the 1989 intergalactic man vs. monsters Rocky riff Arena, then you know all about “I Love the Barbarian” and know exactly why I describe it as just plain strange.

B-Sides: Baby Lied about the Neon Maniacs

If you remember the movie Neon Maniacs, congratulations, you actually remember the movie Neon Maniacs. I’m getting obscure with this week’s B-Sides, so obscure even finding a copy of this tune anywhere is nearly impossible.