Retro Rewind: Five Horror Hotlines You Dared to Dial

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If you were a young adolescent in the late Eighties/early Nineties, then you were probably like me and caught those taunting 1-900 numbers between your favorite programming specifically aimed at kids that would cost you your left nut if you dared to dial and rack up a $500 phone bill.

You have to admit, however, that it sure as hell gave you a sense of living dangerously, and no doubt a few strands of pectoral hair sprouted on your chest when you ate the forbidden fruit if you actually mustered up the balls to call the “$2.99 a minute and $0.99 for each additional minute” retro hotlines.

hotline ahs

It was also around this same time when the horror genre changed from adults-only fare to in-your-face mainstream and started to invade the children’s market as well with Saturday morning cartoons featuring the likes of The Cryptkeeper and Toxie from The Toxic Avenger, horror comic books starring Chucky, and let’s not forget the Freddy Krueger dolls and stunning plastic Freddy Halloween costumes!

So it was inevitable to see 1-900 horror hotlines popping up all over the place trying to lure kids in while going in bone dry raping your dad’s wallet; and holy hell, there were plenty to choose from. If you were smart, you snuck off to your friend’s house to call these numbers while protecting the sanctity of your flesh-colored butt-cheeks. I’ll admit I wasn’t that clever at the age of nine. However, I don’t regret the few minutes I had on our family rotary phone with Freddy Krueger listening to some ridicules tales about Springwood.

Obviously all these numbers are either disconnected or you may just reach some hot and horny guy or gal on the other end if you so happen to dial them now, but let’s take a retro rewind back in time and revisit some of the coolest horror hotlines from the 1-900 era.

1-900-860-4CHUCKY

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How many were aware that The Lakeshore Strangler turned into a plastic nightmare in red sneakers had his very own hotline? I never personally called this one, and it wasn’t advertised on television, at least to my own knowledge. Instead, the ads for the horror hotline popped up in the Child’s Play 2 comic book series that was put out by Innovation Comics. Apparently if you called the number, Chucky would tell you a story and play a game with you. The message also gave you an option for Chucky to call you back later with a special message and extra charges added to the parental unit’s phone bill! What a sneaky, yet stunning scam this was for young fans of the killer doll.

The Halloween 5 Horror Hotline

Halloween 5 Hotline

The shameless promoting for one of the weaker installments of the Halloween franchise also included a hotline that appeared at the end of television promos for the fifth film in the series. If you called said number, you could guide a potential victim of Michael’s to safety and feel like a damn horror hero. I absolutely remember seeing a ton of marketing for this particular Myers sequel and did drag my parents to the theater for a viewing. Being eight years old at the time, I loved the movie back then, but of course as my taste matured some, I realized it doesn’t quite stand up to the rest of the series. The movie’s box office earnings barely covered the production costs of the film, but I’m sure some saps bought into the hotline and don’t regret a second of it.

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